...From De Hart

Merry Christmas Dear Friends and Family!

2011-12-25T19:54:00.000-06:00

Since we are here, and you are there, we have had a very calm and uneventful day. No family gatherings, no big meals, no places to go. In some ways its nice to lounge around in PJs all day and play with the new toys, or read the new books. In other ways, its a little boring. Consequently, I actually have time to write a blog. Which helps me feel connected to you, and share our Christmas Day.

The festivities started out this week with Glory of Zion's Festival of Lights. For three nights the Garden was lit up with thousands of colored lights, there were singers on two different stages, and lots of tasty food and hot drinks. We went on Wednesday night to just enjoy it as a family-although Sam ran off immediately, which is why you won't see him in the photos. We also went on Friday, and Madeline played Christmas carols on her violin while I helped children do a craft inside the dining hall. Here we are, minus Sam, and also I got a picture with Lisa, who I work with. We share an office, and we got a big kick out of the idea that we should put a framed photo of ourselves on each of our desks. Or, pass them out to the other members of the staff. A bit of overkill.

Last night we went to our Christmas Eve service. We met a couple from New Mexico who had flown in just for the service, and then were flying back today. They brought his mother with them, and I think a brother. They were from East LA and La Puente originally, so that was fun. They have been watching GOZ on the web for a few years, and have attended at least one of the conferences. I was pretty blown away by them being there, just for the service.

It was a good service. They sang "Mary Did You Know?" and thanks to David Shack telling me about "Vader Did You Know?" on youtube, we all had trouble keeping a straight face during that one. Our worship leader, John, sang his traditional "Herod" song where he dresses up and wears a kingly hat and struts around being the bad guy. He has a very good villan laugh. This year four of the college girls danced with him and acted as the chorus and as characters in the song. It's just not a Glory of Zion Christmas without Herod. Everyone was given a candle on the way in so at the end we all lit them off those around us, and held them in the dark for quite a while. I was slightly nervous about all the little kids holding candles; Sam being one of them. He loved it, and kept blowing out his candle and relighting it on our. We made it through that without incident that I know of.

On the way home we thought it would be fun to drive through Wendy's, but it and all the other restaurants were closed. So we came home and made fried tortilla chip nachos. Yum.

This morning we had lots of fun opening presents. William got a 4 ball bowling bag and a baseball mitt, Madeline got a Kindle, Abby got an ipod touch, Sam got a Mario game and baseball equipment, and I got a pretty platter, a trivet and a smaller cast iron enamel pot.

I made cinnamon pull apart bread and a hash brown egg casserole yesterday so this morning I just had to pop them in the oven while we opened our presents. They were done just as we got hungry so we feasted with coffee and sparkling apple cider. It was good. We didn't need another meal until 5 this evening. By that time I was ready to cook again, so I made split pea soup in my cast iron enamel pot, and a cheese ball with veggies. Fun holiday food. We have learned that since EVERYTHING is closed on Christmas its almost like an ice storm. Get ready with plenty of good food beforehand so that the long day at home is extra fun. I bought a lot of fun food this last week and the urge to leave the house and forage for something more interesting has been minimal. On some Christmases past we could be found at Jack in the Box, because it was the ONLY place open. I didn't really want to do that again. So this year, when the urge to get out struck, we just took the dogs on a walk, and then came back feeling refreshed. And so did they.

We love you, miss you, and hope you have had a wonderful day celebrating Jesus' birthday! Thank you for your gifts, cards and photos. We feel blessed and we wish you a very Merry Christmas. XOXO

Halloween

2011-11-01T20:19:00.000-05:00

This year is the first in a few that we didn't have a Harvest Festival at church. That was nice for me, since I'm usually involved in making the festival happen. So this time we got to relax and go trick-or-treating with the neighbors.

Madeline and Sam dressed up as a cowgirl and cowboy (mostly because they were given boots by some friends) and Abbie dressed up as a fairy (because she was loaned wings by a friend.) Will wore his favorite pirate hat with his graduation gown...I'm not sure what he was. And I wore my normal mom costume. I also made a great taco soup with ground pork, chicken broth, leeks, hominy, diced tomatoes, black beans, bell pepper, chili and cumin. I wanted to make sure we had some kind of healthy protein in us before the candyfest began.

We leashed up the dogs, gathered three of Sam's friends and one of Abbie's and walked the neighborhood. The kids walked/ran about twice as far as me because they kept running back and forth across the street to all the houses. Madeline finally lost the war against thirst and an ensuing cramp, and staggered back home with her candy. We dropped off the little boys and Abbie's friend, and then Will had the brillant idea of driving to the neighborhood next to ours to see what they could do. Boy, was it worth it! Sam and Abbie came home with twice as much candy as Madeline. We separated all chocolate from the candy, and bagged it up in gallon ziplocks. You can see that we now have five gallons of candy in our home. Madeline was kind of bummed that she didn't push through for that extra gallon of candy, but really didn't want it that bad. Sam was allowed to sleep in Abbie's room so that they could barter with each other for favorite pieces. They love to drive a hard bargain, and we had to shut them down about 45 minutes after they went to bed. Sam ended up with the full sized Crunch bar, and Abbie got 5 smaller pieces for that one. I'm hoping that traded more than that, but they were both happy. I finished up the night eating the only non-candy treats: goldfish crackers and pretzles that Abbie got from someone. That, and some Earl Grey tea finished off the night nicely for me. Happy Halloween!

First Day of School

2011-08-22T22:22:00.001-05:00

Its that time of year again! This year we've got one child at each school. Sam's in 4th, Abbie is in 7th, and Madeline's in 9th. The schools start about 30 minutes apart; without the buses I'd be driving all morning! Thankfully the bus stops right around the corner.

Sam wanted me to walk with him and go a bit early so that he could play at the little park for a minute. Abbie didn't want me to come at all, even though I promised to kiss her at home and just hold her hand while we walked. Madeline wanted me to drive her the 2 blocks because her backpack was super heavy and she was a bundle of nerves. So I did the sending off three different ways. To each his own.

Then I went back home to enjoy my Monday alone. First one in three months. I loaded the dishwasher, moved some laundry....and went back to bed. I slept soundly until 11 am, and woke up feeling great! What a luxury.

At noon I left the house to run errands and had a lovely time wandering around Target for a few items. Then, fortified by a large iced tea, I came home and cleaned (including dusting) the livingroom.

Pretty soon everyone began getting home and it was all about snacks and school stories. Will only had 3 kids in his class....Sam's teacher doesn't yell and is strict about the rules....Abbie had a big schedule drama that meant she'd have to eat with the 8th graders (that'll get fixed)....and Madeline was able to visit her locker between classes and didn't have to carry all her books at one. It was a good day; the beginning of a good year.

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Summer Fun

2011-08-07T21:53:00.000-05:00

Lots has happened this summer: the kids' big trip to CA for Camp Grandma, two birthday parties so far, and our church's move from our rented facilty to our new purchased building. Also, we've had 37 days of 100+ temps and no rain so far, and the 10 day forcast doesn't offer any hope for a break.

I thought I'd post photos of Sam and Abbie's birthday parties, for fun. Sam's birthday came first, and this year he invited three friends. They even spent the night. It went well; they really wanted to play their nintendos together, and I'd say it was one of the more low maintenance parties we've had. Here they are decorating cakes. We also went swimming in our neighborhood pool, as a way to get cool and drain off some energy. Happy Birthday Sam!

Yesterday we had Abbie's party. She invited 8 friends; it was not a slumber party! Madeline introduced us to a really fun game she played at another party. We divide up into teams and design dresses with newspaper and packing tape. It is really fun, and all the girls get to be creative. At the end we lined them all up and awarded three first place awards in three different categories: Party girl, Classic, Scarlett O'Hara. Maybe you can guess which was which.

We also swam and ate dinner and had a water balloon toss. Much fun was had by all. Happy Birthday Abbie!

On the GOZ front, we moved at the end of July into the 215,000 sq ft building that we are purchasing. Only a portion of it is finished, so right now there is no nursery or children's ministry during service. I am enjoying a break from the weekly pressure of making sure that all the teachers are in place for the babies. But I'm taking this time to pray and plan and recruit for when we open back up with the permanant nurseries. We've got a beautiful garden to wander in, and the dining hall building is up and running. Each week before service we are having "Warrior Practice" where the elementary aged kids come to worship, hear the Lord's voice for themselves, and hear the Lord's voice for a friend. It is such a neat exercise. Today we prayed for each other, and one of the dads who was there too. I'm enjoying getting to go to that, and to service with my kids!

This week we begin pre-registering our kids for school. Madeline will be in High School this year! Ahh! That happened fast. I think she'll enjoy it, if she doesn't stress out too much about her school work. She's been taking violin lessons this summer. I think we'll continue them during school too. They make such a difference in the little things.

Abbie is not going to do band this year. We decided that Drama and Art are more her style, so she's going to participate in the school plays. I think she's a natural actor, and her lungs are extra large, which we learned when she was able to hold a note on her baritone longer than anyone else in band. I'm not too surprised, and this skill carries over quite nicely to vocal projection, which will serve her well on the stage. :-)

Sam does less, of course...those elementary days were good! But we'll be watching to see where his interests lie. Two more years of elementary for him, and then off to middle school. Last year he got really good at reading, so this year should be good. Although 4th grade can be more challenging.

Will starts his job back up this week, with the first day of training on Tuesday. It feels like this summer has flown so fast. Maybe because we didn't do a month long trip like last year. But I'm looking forward to the structure and cooler weather that fall brings. Maybe I'll even get back into planning menus. Summer kind of throws everything off track.

Monthly Update

2011-05-11T19:55:00.000-05:00

Well, whether you're ready or not, I'm doing my monthly blog entry. Actually, what really happens is that I look at blogs on my phone, but can't comment or post very easily.

May is the busiest month for the family. The kids have field trips, practices, performances, special school event etc. And Will has the same for his school. So we're running like crazy. The girls are in The Wizard of Oz at their school tomorrow and Friday. It's their first theatrical debut (outside of church.) Some of our friends are going to come watch with us. I'm looking forward to this production! We also have orchestra and band concerts next week. Poor Sam simply has a school festival next Friday, and we'll see if we make it to that. He wasn't quite as interested when I told him that he'd have to spend his allowance on tickets.

Abigail was in "The Miss Lindy Show" that we do for the children's ministry at our church. It has gone churchwide, so now you can watch on the GOZ website. She plays young Miss Lindy interviewing Joshua, Caleb and Onan the first time they are getting ready to go into the Promised Land. The next show is 40 years later when they are finally going in. Its really cute, and if you want to see it, click here. Then you will need to sign in. The show is on the GOZTV tab in the black bar at the top. I hope you can watch it! The one with Moses is really funny too. Actually, they're all good. You'll see me in the audience of "Angelo, the Angel of Death." Its really silly, but fun.

I'm looking forward to summer, slowing down a bit and relaxing. Meanwhile, we'll take each day as it comes, and try to get enough sleep.

God's provision

2011-04-14T08:32:00.000-05:00

Some of you may have seen the garden we made last weekend on Will's blog. It was a lot of hard work, but turned out great. So, we got it all built, put in lots of dirt, and finally planted seeds and small plants. We made a kind of fence with stakes and twine to keep the dogs out. Hooray!

On Monday I got home from grocery shopping to discover Dolce sitting in the garden. She had broken through the fence, and had dug herself a hole. I was so mad! I dragged her out, spanked her with a spatula and so on. Later, Mander did the same thing. So he got spanked too. Ugly. Thank God they didn't take out the 5 tomato plants or Abbie's flowers.

They did the same thing on Tuesday. More spankings. They just can't resist the manure and cool dirt. That night Will and I prayed, and gave the garden to God.

Today at work, Pam informed me that there was firewood to collect at the new church property. We'd gotten some other wood one time, do she knew about our scavenging ways. I told her about the dogs, and she said we should make a stronger fence, and also a dirt patch for them. So we added Home Depot to the list of places to go. But we really didn't want to spend more on this project.

When we got to the land we found the wood in a pile of things to remove. And there, in the pile was a bunch of old chicken wire! And also, there was some old metal strips with stakes that had been used to make raised beds! So instead of wood, we filled the back of the van with stuff for the garden. Now all we need to buy is dirt and everyone will be happy.

What was doubly amazing about all this is that Madeline's violin bow broke yesterday at school. I called the store where we bought it, with warranty, and the guy I spoke to (the manager, it seems) told me to bring it down and they'd exchange it for free. So off we went. When we got to the store someone else was working. He said we'd have to pay $250 for a new bow...it wasn't covered by the warranty...and so on, with the opposite I'd been told. I just kept repeating what I'd been told, including that the new bow was waiting for us behind the counter. He went and looked, and there it was, with instructions to exchange it for free. He was baffled, and said he'd never seen that happen before.

So apparently we had two miracles last night. Worth about 300+ dollars. Thank you God!

A Day in the Life--Ice day 3

2011-02-03T13:54:00.000-06:00

We're enjoying our forced vacation while we wait for the ice to melt. Today is the first day that we've had reliable phone and internet access. I've been able to text, and update facebook at times, but that is about it.

Tuesday night brought the storm and an arctic cold front that coated the streets with 2 inches of ice. The temperature dropped, and has held steady at about 15 degrees ever since. So, until we get above freezing, the roads are icy and everyone is staying home.

We did take an adventure drive on Wednesday. 10 miles per hour to see if we could get a movie at Redbox, which was frozen, of course. But we had fun driving our heavy van for 40 minutes.

The pipes in the kitchen froze, but we remembered to keep the bathroom faucets dripping, so we have water. We just bring it into the kitchen in jugs for dishwashing, tea making etc. The washer and dryer work, so I've been keeping up on the laundry. I'm doing two loads for my neighbor right now, because her pipes to the washer froze. She also got me eggs, milk, butter, and soda at the store yesterday when she ventured out. So we're helping each other.

I have been chuckling to myself at the irony of our lifestyle. We require a direct opposition to nature at all times in order to live "normally." Electricity and communication facilitate a disconnection from the outside world that is really kind of scary when faced with the lack. I saw a headline about how people were so upset about the rolling brownouts we had yesterday. I guess they just don't realize how lucky they are not to lose electricity completely.

Here are photos of things we've been doing lately: video games, movies, blogs, laundry. reading. Dolce seems to be reading Dumbo. And Madeline too. Roosevelt is happiest with Madeline scratching his ears

Will updated Abigail and Sam's blogs, so just click on the new links here.

Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!

2011-01-01T14:36:00.012-06:00

Seeing mom's blog inspired me to just slap a bunch of photos up with descriptions. Getting the photos ready is the biggest hurdle for me. So I sat down today and downloaded all the photos from my phone, and getting them organized. I also changed my blog format in honor of the new year. I'm always inspired by January and get all excited about cleaning. This year I took photos of the kids in the nursery and made collages for the teachers. Here I am reading a book to Lisa's daughter one Sunday morning.

Here are some pre-Christmas festivities...We went to the Denton tree-lighting event in early December with friends. Our church does a living nativity every year, so we had to see everyone there. This was the first year it wasn't freezing cold, so it sounded like fun.

I went to Sam's Christmas performance, and watched the kids sing. It was hard to get a photo of him with his class because he was always behind other kids. But I got some good ones afterwards.

I made Aunt Boo Boo's sugared walnuts this year for everyone at the office and friends. I made a total of 50 of these little boxes-they held 1 cup of nuts each. Unfortunately I deleted some of the best photos, but these give you an idea.

The DeHarts came to visit for the week of Christmas. We had a great time, and they left Christmas afternoon. On Christmas Eve we invited three other families over, and had a big feast and a Dollar store white elephant gift exchange. I made pulled pork sandwiches with a huge pork shoulder. Here are the dog's enjoying their Christmas treat: the big bones.

Dan and Jacquie gave Sam an elaborate marble maze thing. It took all Christmas day to build. Thank heavens Dan was here!!

We were given ticket to the Army vs. SMU football game, so we went; It was the first time the kids had been to a live game, which is kind of sad here in Texas. We had a great time, and ate nachos, soda, peanuts and pretzles and cheese. We parked in the neighborhood around SMU, and I loved seeing the beautiful houses. That was worth the drive for me!

On New Year's Eve we went to our church's First Fruits celebration. Everyone was given noise makers, and we had a great time worshiping and celebrating. Robert Heidler gave a very interesting talk about the Jewish month that starts on January 6th. But that ended at 9:00, and what to do next?? For the last few years we've had a big conference over the New Year's holiday, and fit in celebrations with the Petersens when we could. So this year we were at loose ends. However, it worked out that Chuck sent and invitation to all the bowlers to come to the bowling alley where he'd gotten three lanes for the night. It turned out that the bowling alley was sponsering a party, complete with champagne and sparkling cider, and breakfast after midnight. So, that's what we did. The kids and Will bowled, I talked to people, and it was very festive.

Phones shift

2010-11-27T13:21:00.004-06:00

Hello family,

I wanted to let you all know that we are thinking about stopping our home land line and home internet service. We'll keep our cell phones--comment if you don't know my number. :-) The home number that will go bye-bye is 940.387.4682.

Not having the internet and netflix will be really different, but we are thinking that it will be good for us to not have that constant instant pull. And we'll keep our email and blog addresses the same. I'll be using my email every day at work, of course.

Bless you all! And talk to you soon. :-)

Wish you were here!

2010-11-25T14:54:00.002-06:00

Happy Thanksgiving, all you people we love! I thought I'd make a little video to show you what is going on at our house today. We're waiting for our friends to arrive, and I'm about to start in with the stuffing, creamed corn, and mashed potatos. Bless you this year!

Oil Spill

2010-10-16T00:02:00.002-05:00

This week has been very interesting. I realized last Sunday that the date was 10-10-10. 10 is the number for government, and all week at prayer people have been talking about "the new administration." From what I'm seeing, "the new administration" means that the Holy Spirit is doing things differently than before. I had a conversation today with a lady on staff, and she was talking about how the counseling/inner healing/deliverance ministry was starting to look different. The old ways of doing things just didn't work the same, and the change was in a new reliance on the Holy Spirit to tell them what to minister about, rather than following a formula, or questionaaire.

This week I have had a number of powerful counseling type conversations with people that the Lord has brought to me. I never seek these things out, so sometimes I don't "minister" in that way for a long streach. But this week I had 4 significant conversations in one day. And then some others on the other days. The difference is noticeable. I can sense a change in my own life.

So, to the story of the Oil Spill. I came home from work today with my mind full of the interesting conversations I've been having. I had a crock pot of beans and sausage that had been cooking all day, and the plan was to make cornbread to go with it. I went into the pantry to get the flour and cornmeal, and as I lifted them down, I knocked a bottle of olive oil off the shelf. It fell and shattered on the tile floor right at my feet. Olive oil and glass shot like a cascade across the kitchen floor, with glass shards as far away as 15 feet. I had oil on my foot and shoe; it was everywhere. I stood there paralyzed saying "Oh no, oh no!" because the mess was so huge. I took a step and almost slipped. I didn't know where to begin.

William came to my rescue with his Beylik Oil experience, and began unrolling TP onto the biggest puddle of oil. I began sweeping up glass. But this required moving the table and chairs into the livingroom. Madeline vacuumed the carpet on both sides of the kitchen. There was oil all over the floor, and even after Will got it sopped up and swept, I still had to mop everything. And while I did that for 20 minutes with really hot water and soap, I had plenty of time to reflect.

Oil is prophetic of the anointing of the Holy Spirit. I was experiencing a sudden outpouring of the Spirit, and it was a mess. It ruined my timeframe for dinner. I had to do a major clean up that I wasn't planning to do. And it happened when the glass bottle broke. Throughout my growth process over the last 8 years, the Lord gave me a picture of myself as a bird in a glass bottle. The bottle was something that I had constructed to protect myself from pain. I could see out, but I couldn't hear or feel. I have done the work of breaking that glass bottle and coming out. But today a glass bottle broke in my kitchen, and oil poured out. It got on my feet, and messed up my plans. I was really mad to be doing that project right then.

I think that the Lord is speaking to me about His plans for my future. I've entered the "new administration." I'm going to see the Holy Spirit poured out in unexpected ways, and its going to be inconvenient and mess up my schedule. I think this is also a picture for the church in general at this time. God wants to do something new. The Holy Spirit is messy. He doesn't stay convenient for us. He challenges our basic beliefs about how things should be. But what else matters? After fighting through the cleanup, I had a cleaner kitchen. That's exactly how the Holy Spirit works. His ministry messes things up, and then rebuilds them without the false stuff there. So, its worth it! I say, Holy Spirit, do what you want!

GOZ Snapshot

2010-09-27T13:55:00.003-05:00

I'm home today on my day off, and I decided to watch the webcast of yesterday's services. I was busy all morning with nursery stuff, so I couldn't participate. I'm so glad I decided to watch! Both services are so powerful. Second service is a perfect picture of all I love about GOZ. Worship as a dance party. I read a quote once, "Never trust a leader who won't dance." Everytime I think of it I smile because at GOZ the leaders regularly dance. This service is a gem. I encourage you to watch. Its only an hour long, and you can get some exercise while you do!

School Supplies

2010-08-10T21:50:00.003-05:00

Every year, no matter what, I spend $150 on school supplies. I should qualify that. Every year since I moved to Texas. In California no one was asked to buy school supplies. But here the schools publish a big list and you are expected to bring it all in on Meet the Teacher night and put it in the class. California is a bankrupt state, and Texas isn't. So they are doing something right here. But it still kind of irks me that I have to search high and low for black Expo dry erase markers and bring reams of copy paper to school. If every child brings two boxes of 24 pencils, that should be enough, right?

One benefit of Will being a teacher is that he had a lot of 12X18 packs of manila paper left over from last year. So our kids are bringing the surplus and I didn't have to buy that.

Different stores run specials to get you in, so the last couple of years I've been trying to beat the system by hitting those sales and only buying the deals. Today I bought 5 packs of filler paper at Staples for 1 cent each. The rest were .78 each, but still...I got out of there with 20 items for $17.00. I felt a kind of vindictive glee because I paid less than a dollar for each item on average. I realize that I was resenting this required spending spree and beating the system gave me just a little sense of sticking it to the man. However we spent the rest of the budget at Target getting everything else, including a tacky Transformers backpack for Sam ($9.00) that he loves. The one from last year had holes in the bottom.

I'm glad to be done with this. Maybe next year I'll start earlier and hit all those weekly sales and maybe only spend $100, or even $80. I really feel that it should be possible. We'll see.

Just like that

2010-07-31T01:28:00.002-05:00

Just like that, we're home. If you want to see a really consistent journal of the trip, see Will's blog. He's really good at it.

I'm glad to be home, but I never really got homesick. It's good to be in one place, and enjoy the peace of not moving. We had a great time on our five-legged trip: The DeHarts, The Cox's, Santa Rosa, Yosemite, and Flagstaff. We visited Disneyland, The Korbel Champagne winery, Yosemite, the Grand Canyon, and one of our favorites, Slide Rock Park in Arizona.

This was our third visit to Slide Rock Park and I had the best time I've ever had. The rocks are covered with a tiny algae so they are very slippery. The first time we went we didn't have water shoes so we continually slipped. Not fun. The second time, the water was numbing and I had flip flops that kind of worked. This time we all got water shoes. Also, the kids were old enough to take care of themselves, which I realized was a huge factor in my enjoyment of the place. Imagine carrying a toddler and trying not to slip in the current! No wonder I didn't have fun! This time the water wasn't so cold, I wasn't slipping, and no one was scared. Wow. I got to do some water slides myself, and loved swimming in the deeper areas. I felt a personal victory in the fun.

We had a great time connecting with a majority of our family; we got good family photos with both the DeHart and Cox families. Something new for our wall.

The kids had countless new experiences. Sam went on his first rollercoaster (Space Mountain) and loved it. He proceeded on to Matterhorn and Thunder Mountain. The kids were just the right age to really take it all in and enjoy the trip. What a blessing!

On the Road Again

2010-07-05T15:50:00.011-05:00

We're four days into our month in California, and each day has been eventful. The kids are getting to have lots of new experiences. Or, at least Sam is. The girls are remembering things. Days one and two were all about the drive, and we pulled into Whitter at 4:30pm on Saturday. The thing I forget about is how green and beachy Whittier is. Where you live there, you get used to the smell. But coming from Texas, and through the desert, the smell of the sea is so noticeable as soon as you get over the mountains from the Mojave desert.

We had a nice time with mom and dad, and went with them to Granada on Sunday morning. I loved getting to talk to Grandpa with his Cochlear implant for the first time. What a difference! Dad took us to lunch at El Pollo Loco after church and we stuffed ourselves on the special El Pollo Loco marinated chicken. And Horchata, which I miss. You can see dad and my containers of salsa, cilantro, and lemons for our tacos.

After a short nap we went down to Will's uncle Jim, Jock, and JR's house for the big block 4th celebration. It was an immersion into our Whittier past....tattooed gang-bangers, loud music, a pinata, nachos with runny cheese sauce, homemade carne asada, ceviche, and the best salsa I've ever tasted. Unfortunately I was still full from lunch, so I had to wait a while to eat. But I probably ate about a cup of the salsa. It had avocados in it, along with all the other stuff its supposed to. Mi Casita's salsa is the closest thing I can find to the real stuff in Denton, so this was a huge treat. In this photo you can see Abigail deep in the fray, soon to emerge with a treat bag filled to the brim with candy, a lot of which was her very favorite--Mexican lucas candy. Sam didn't try so hard, and only got half a bag. They spent some very pleasant time on the driveway trading with each other.

One of my favorite events was the arrival of the ice cream truck. First, we don't have those in our neighborhood. Second, this one had the most elaborate paint job I've ever seen. Someone's brother/cousin/uncle was a professional, and it looked it. The kids were sliding down a bounce house water slide on the front lawn, so we had to get cones in honor of vacation, Whittier, their childhood, and summer.

As the evening wore on the fire crackers came out. Everyone had lots of illegal ones, and the sheriff down the street had the other stash. Apparently he confiscates them, and blows them off at his own party with a bunch of his other cop friends. The key was to keep the illegals in the houses, and so the homeowners kept going back and forth bringing out more as needed. If the police come, and you don't have a big pile on your lawn waiting to shot off, he can't do much. So we had a Disneyland style show for about and 1 1/2 hours-most people sitting on the lawn, the brave principles lighting them in the street with blowtorches. Effective. Madeline got hit with a sooty something on the lip, and Abby got some flecks of something in her eye, but other than that all was fine. The kids got to blow off some Roman candles, and sparklers of course. I've never done the 4th like this and neither have they, so it was a great experience.

The grand finale was shot off, and then the police showed up. A few young guys slunk off and made a quick getaway with their under-aged beer when they saw him, and when he left they were back, case on shoulder.The police threatened to search the houses if he came back and found them doing illegal fireworks-that was going to expose them to a whole lot of trouble, so the show was over. We left for the 90 mile drive to Palmdale, pulling in at about 12:30am. The kids fell asleep in the car, and didn't wake up until 9am today.

Here come the Dollars

2010-06-12T18:25:00.002-05:00

The Dollars are about 45 minutes away as I write this. Everyone was on pins and needles waiting, so I took a nap, and Will and the kids watched Rocky #1. They've watched the others....it seems that this is the time in their lives for an introduction to that venerable series. They already knew "Eye of the Tiger" because of Wii Rock Band with the Petersens last summer. Before that, Will took the kids swimming, and I made Sam's Bday cake for Monday, and some banana bread for breakfast tomorrow.

I have also been doing cleaning projects around the house. I even hung the pictures differently above the piano, and in the living room. That project precipitated a spot painting project around the house, so now those little ratty white spots where things have bumped the walls are all better. Thank you Will.

I'm enjoying my summer schedule, which is work T-Th 9-4, instead of T-F 9-2. I'm able to stay later because Will is home, but then I have the benefit of an extra day with the fam. It's worth powering through that late afternoon nap time.

So, we're looking forward to taking the Dollars to church with us tomorrow, going to Rudy's BBQ, swimming, talking, playing. It will be fun.

Saturday

2010-06-05T16:58:00.002-05:00

Well, we've made it through this week. Thursday was the last day of school for the kid; Will's last day was Friday. The last week of school is usually pretty busy-with class parties, lugging home books, stuff like that.

On top of that, we also had a fun Memorial Day party with the Petersens-we BBQ'd, swam, and took pictures. We continued the good-bye process, culminating in a group hug of crying children at the end. We were blessed with the Petersens' piano, and we traded refrigerators because they were leaving theirs with the house, and I had the brain wave of trading and leaving my not so nice one with their house instead. That was Thursday-we rented a Uhaul, and got two strong guys from church to do the loading and unloading of the piano and fridge. It was scary to watch the ramp flex and bend under all that weight. God bless John and Aaron (and Will and Darren) for their feats of strength.

I'm so excited to have the piano. Madeline has already been sight reading music from some books we have. The gift of that piano is going to have a big impact on us. I want to find a friend who can give us a group piano lesson or two so that we can at least learn how to position our hands correctly.

Friday was D-day. The kids and I went over to the Petersens' house and helped Jenn clean and pack. Her goal was the leave at noon, and they pulled out close to 1:00, so I'd say that was a success. More tears, but by this time we'd sort of worn ourselves out, so it wasn't too bad. We waved them off, and promptly went to Wendy's for frostys. That helped. By the time we'd made a few stops, we felt better.

So now, we have the summer before us. The Dollars are arriving in one week-today the kids worked on their rooms. Then, two weeks after they leave, we go to church summer camp, and then California right after that. The Lord knew we needed a fun summer to look forward to, and here it comes!

Stirrings

2010-05-30T19:08:00.005-05:00

There have been a lot of stirrings lately...but the most intense has been the impending departure of the Petersens to Oregon. Their decision to move has happened over about a month, or maybe less; Jenn and the kids have been planning to visit family there for the summer all year, but actually moving is a newer idea. You may remember my other blog in which I introduced them, and that doesn't feel so long ago. In fact, this last Christmas we celebrated our second "anniversary" of discovering them.

The move feels like the right thing, and we can clearly see the Lord's leading as they go. However, the loss of our best friends here is painful. Today at church they were blessed and prophesied over during the second service. Most people didn't know they were leaving, so there was a collective intake of breath as Keith announced it. We also had a party in the Jr High department, with a slide show set to---I'll bet you already can guess this---but you might be surprised it's still kicking---drum roll please---"Friends Are Friends Forever." Sigh. But wait. It was Stryper's version. Yes, Darren told me it was, but I thought he was joking, because Stryper covering MWS seemed so....I don't know....like Darren's cynical humor. However, before I blogged in my ignorance I googled it and found the MWS cover album by Stryper. Wow.

So, I was doing all my usual Sunday duties with the Shreve nose in full bloom. Jennifer at least looked good when she wasn't crying. I carried the vestiges all day. It was so poignant to realize that this was the last day they'd be in church. That I won't be seeing them as part of the landscape is kind of shocking. In a way, I feel like we are moving too. Life without them will be like striking out afresh.

We've had 2 1/2 years of unprecedented friendship as couples. I've never known two people with whom Will and I are both able to connect like this. All the relational combos work between the four of us. Outside of Nathan and David, I've not experienced a guy like Darren. He feels like the brother I didn't have-Our childhoods had so many similarities it's crazy. And Jennifer feels like the best combo of my Aunt Luanne and my mom in the 70's. Things like wiping the kids' noses with their clothes, and heartlessly perscribing carrots when they're hungry. I've lived it. Of course there's more, but you get the point.

I'm excited for Darren and Jenn to move into the next place of blessing that the Lord has for them. And I know that He has blessings of us to as this place in our hearts and our schedule is opened up for new people and things. I know there is good ahead for both of our families. But this week is the hard part.

Reality Hits the Bus

2010-04-19T18:25:00.003-05:00

The kids ride the bus home from school each day. I'm delighted to have free transportation, but lately the bus has been pretty unruly; kids have been saying inappropriate things, and acting up. I called the Denton ISD transportation department, lodged a complaint one day after an especially trying ride. I was irritated with the driver because he was not maintaining order. I know it's possible to have a calm, orderly bus because the lady who drove last year did a great job, and all the kids respected her. The bus people called back and said that they have to maintain safety, but can't regulate language on the bus. I understand that, but my bigger complaint was with the driver's inability to maintain order.

Last year, a boy on Madeline's bus said the F word on the way home, and the Good Driver got off the freeway, turned the bus around, and took them back to the school. When they got there, she took the foul-mouthed offender and marched him in to the principal's office and left him there. Then she drove the rest of the kids home. I was very pleased.

Today was not so good. There is a boy with emotional problems who decided to start spitting on another boy. They regularly are "fighting" on the bus, so that wasn't new. The bus driver, a former military man, told the boy to stop it. He didn't, so the driver stopped the bus, came back, and told him again-telling him that he wasn't going to ride the bus again for the rest of the year. The kid spit on him, and the bus driver slapped him on the face. The kid began screaming cuss words at him, and he slapped him again!

The spitter went and sat down, and the driver brought them home. Everyone was shocked, of course. Madeline came bursting in with the dramatic news, and I called to make a report. I was the second parent to do so, and probably not the last.

So, I was right in my first assessment that the driver doesn't know how to maintain order. I certainly understand his anger at being disrespected and spit on, but the whole event should never have happened. That child should have been banished from the bus for his behavior a long time ago. Hindsight.

Later, I got a call from the transportation department as they called every parent with children on the bus, and they're scrambling to alert all the authorities-child protective services included. And I know from neighborhood gossip that the police were at the boy's house this afternoon.

Man, I'm so glad I'm not that driver. He must have realized it was all over the minute he sat down in his seat. I can just feel that sinking stone feeling he must have now. The consequences of losing his temper are going to be with him for a long time.

And I'm hoping that the boy will have some repercussions too. It was time some reality caught up with him. Tomorrow, the bus will be a new place. And for the sake of my children, I'm glad.

Five Day Weekend and Disneyland tickets

2010-02-14T21:17:00.012-06:00

I love living in Texas. We had snow on Thursday, and below freezing temps on Friday, so the kids and I were home both days. If it were to snow in California, the reaction would be the same...no snow plows, so no one wants to drive. Here, it actually does snow, so we get to have a holiday or two. Here is a movie from our little crafting event on Thursday, thanks to the candy making kit that Grandma DeHart sent us. It took us about 20 minutes, and the rest of the day the kids played outside, watched movies, ate, read and relax. We also got a good one of the dogs freaking out about the snow.

We're planning a road trip to California this July, and I really wanted to take the kids to Disneyland. However, when Will sensibly pointed out that we'd be using a third of our budget in one day, I agreed that it didn't make much sense. However, I went to the Disney website to see if they had any deals, and I discovered the "Give a Day, Get a Day" program. You volunteer for a day, and earn a ticket to either Disneyland, or Disney World.

Last weekend, we went down to Fort Worth to volunteer. We worked with Project Linus, a charity that makes and gives blankets to kids in traumatic situations. I brought my sewing machine so I was able to put together about 7 blankets. We worked for four hours, and walah! Disney tickets are ours. It was fun for our family to volunteer together, and definitely worth the tickets.

Eye Masters Miracle

2009-12-22T17:01:00.001-06:00

This week we needed to buy our girls new glasses. We did our budget, figured out what to expect during the next month, and of course we were short. That’s just life with a family. We set our limit for the glasses, and off we went.

To make our grand budget plan work, we needed to stay below a certain amount for each frame. So the girls looked and tried on and squinted their way through the small choices available to them. Of course nothing was right. So we began figuring out little ways to flex… “Well, we haven’t spent all of your Christmas money yet, how about making this part of your gift?” and “OK, you can go up $10.00 to the next group of frames.”

A long, agonizing time later, we finally found two frames that worked. We were spending more than we wanted to, but everyone was happy. As we began to ring up the frames, we realized that one of them was an adult frame that had been left accidentally in the children’s section. This ruined the entire deal, so we had to go back to the drawing board.

By this time we’re exhausted, hungry, and tired of the whole thing, and the salesperson feels the same way. We’re laboring under this stifling budget boundary. Suddenly Will decided that we could flex, and go up $10 to the next category of frames. The moment he did, everything lifted. We immediately found the right frames-they were better than the first pair.

As we rang up the new frames, we were mentally adding up the costs. We expected to be about $50 over budget. But when we were given the total, it came to $1.00 less than our original limit. WHAT? One of the pairs was mispriced. We exchanged glances, said, “Yes, thank you very much!” and left in amazement.

So what did the Lord teach us? That he is in charge of the provision. We have to flex, and not be legalistic and religious in our effort to make sure there is enough. He allowed us to stay within our boundary. He blessed the girls with the frames they wanted. But it wasn’t until we let go of the rigid grip on the provision that He could work his plan.

We call this our miracle at Eye Masters because the Lord was saying, “Look! See that I am the master of your provision! Relax and let me bless you.”

Hannah Montana

2009-10-22T15:57:00.004-05:00

Our kids watched Hannah Montana with the Petersens, and so I got another DVD at the library. I sat down and watched a couple of shows with them, and, surprisingly, I liked it! I didn't know what anyone knows...that the show is about Miley Cyrus who is also Hannah Montana, but most her friends don't know. Anyway, we found a bunch of Miley Cyrus music on playlist, and I actually like some of it! All this time I've been scoffing at the Hannah M underwear and tee shirts at Walmart, and no, I still won't be buying them, nor do my girls want them. But, she's actually a good singer! I've put two of the songs I like on my Playlist.

Without a TV, I usually catch on to pop trends about 3 years late, which I don't mind. More noteably, I also recently got season 1 disc 1 of 21 Jumpstreet, which I never watched in High School. So I'm almost 20 years late for that one. Will never watched it either, so now we're having an 80's/90's flashback along with pre-Pirates/Demon Barber Johnny Depp. More of an Edward Scissorhands/Gilbert Grape experience.

While the cat's away

2009-10-16T21:09:00.002-05:00

Tonight the Petersens came over for an early dinner, and then William and Darren went to church for the Issachar conference this weekend. Meanwhile, the kids watched Camp Rock (cheesy) and played, and then we pulled out the jumbo marshmallows.

Obama's Prize

2009-10-09T16:05:00.002-05:00

When I heard that Obama had been awarded the Nobel Peace Prize, I immediately asked the radio announcer, "What for?" What was funny was that the two NPR announcers who talked about it during the next segment seemed to have the same question. One even listed off all the things that Obama hadn't done...Guantanamo is still open, the two wars are in progress, and Afganistan is growing, and a few other things. Then, on MSN there was an opinion poll, and like me, 63% of those who answered agreed that he didn't deserve the prize- he hasn't done anything yet. Later when I went back to the poll it was gone.

As I thought more on the subject, I realized the political problems with accepting the prize. If he does a lot of great things, he'll be OK 10 years from now. If he bombs out and his big ambitions aren't accomplished, the prize is going to look like a joke. I think that if it were me, I'd say, "Thanks so much for the honor, but I need to decline so that history can play out first."

Happy 13th Madeline!

2009-09-26T08:57:00.005-05:00

Exactly one week late, Madeline is finally going to have some celebration of her Sept. 20th birthday. On the actual day we were deep in the midst of the Head of the Year Conference, and so we weren't able to do anything much. The Petersen's have a policy of celebrating the kid's birthday on the exact day, no matter what day that is, and it's a great idea. That way you don't end up making multiple cakes, and dragging the whole thing out, and losing the specialness factor.

However, this year, poor Madeline was not given her rightful dues. A sign of her growing maturity, though, she really didn't feel bad about it. Except for the fact that the Petersen's bought some Ding Dongs and Zingers to take to lunch with us on the 20th, and we sang to her at the restaurant, and the waitress hurried over with a cup of tres leches cake with whipped cream and a cherry when she heard our 11 voices raised in enthusiastic song...at least it was something. And then I bought her some mint chocolates and lip gloss while at World Market a few days later. And she got birthday money from loving grandparent's and aunties. But you can see that from our end, this has been kind of pitiful.

Last night I made her the cake of choice-chocolate brownie cake with chocolate frosting, and then she got to decorate it herself....but still, not enough.

So this morning, Will and I had the brilliant idea (stolen from the Petersens) to get her a cell phone. It's only a little more a month on our plan, she gets to call us for free, and we can actually allocate the number of minutes that belong to her per month. And we're already set up with no texting, so we don't have to worry about that phenomenon. Until last night, I had felt like it was an unnecessary luxury for a child to have a cell phone, and I've always loudly said that they can have a cell phone when they can pay for it. So think of what a surprise she'll have when we unpredictably turn tail and change our minds. And, what a great rite of passage...Abby won't get one until she's 13, and that means that Madeline gets 22 months of having a privilege that Abby doesn't.

What usually happens in our family it that we say "no" until the bitter end, and then we change our minds and Abby gets IT at the same time that Madeline does. This summer there was much gnashing of teeth because Abby got to read the Harry Potter books at the same time Madeline did. And I told her the sad sad story of how I had to wait until I was 11 to get my ears pierced, and my parents caved at Sears and got everyone's ears pierced, so Erin and Gretchen only had to wait until they were 9 and 6. How unfair is that??? I remember complaining to mom and dad about it, just as Madeline complained to me.

Madeline is also going to have a party with friends, and that will be next weekend. So, this is a three weekend birthday, and that's OK.

End of A Season-Heidi's Version

2009-09-24T11:46:00.002-05:00

Most of you have probably already read Will's blog about the end of the season....I heartily agreed with everything he said, and really couldn't have said it better myself. But I still have to say something.

Our 14th anniversary is coming up on September 30th. I am amazed at how God works with numbers, which is a big focus of Glory of Zion, as we pay attention to the Hebraic year we are in and all that. But whether or not I knew it, God has been using significant timing in my life all along.

For the first seven years of our marriage, we had our three kids, and lived with a variety of unhealed wound issues, and the problems they created. At about year 7, I began to cry out to the Lord to heal our issues, so that they don't take us out later on. He responded, and in the spring of year 7 1/2 we transtitioned from working at Plymouth, to living with the DeHarts in Agua Dulce.

At the same time, I got Rheumatoid Arthritis, and we moved from our traditional understanding of what our life with the Lord looks like to a more unpredictable Holy-Spirit led, tounges speaking, dream dreaming way. I knew I was supposed to pray for healing for the RA, which I began to do. For the next year we underwent an intense time of counseling and deliverance. For me, the RA was a catalyst of pain that drove me to question all my foundational beliefs about God, suffering, healing, love, forgiveness, prayer and marriage. The Lord told me that I was to get prayed for at every opportunity, so that's what I did. I went to our little church healing team every week after church. And, most the time the RA wasn't the main point. It was something in me emotionally or spiritually that the Lord wanted to heal.

Over the last seven years, the Lord has completely stripped me down, and rebuilt me from the foundation up. My basic way of viewing the world has changed. Two weeks ago, at our Wednesday noon prayer meeting at church, Chuck told us that we were to invite the Lord in to dine with us, and we were to serve him. We had two different wines to choose from as we took communion. One was called "Hope", and the other "Full Circle."

I was waiting to find out from the Lord what I was to serve Him while I took communion. I knew that "Full Circle" was the wine I was supposed to use. As I waited, I began to realize that everything I have-my body, my truth, my voice, has been torn down and rebuilt. So, I offered Him myself. That's all I have to offer, but it is a new me. A me that has been crushed, and is reborn. He has done the work, and I praise Him!

On the Rheumatoid Arthritis level, I have been steadily improving for the last 4 years. When we came to Texas 3 1/2 years ago, I went off the methotrexate because going to a doctor was just too expensive. But I did start going to the healing rooms at our church, like the Lord had told me to do. I used Ibuprophen a couple of times a day to manage the pain and swelling. In the last 4 months, I havn't needed Ibuprophen very often. I don't take it if I don't notice that I need it in the morning. And I've had more energy and have been feeling really good.

I know that our second 7 year cycle is coming to a close, and this one has been one of healing. I am so grateful to the Lord for answering my prayers and rescuing us from our sin and wounds. I a excited to see what the next seven years holds for us and our family. Being completely surrendered to Him is the best possible life, and I wouldn't trade a moment of the trials and pain that I've endured if it meant that I had to give up the freedom and joy I have now.

Head of the Year 5770

2009-09-20T19:36:00.008-05:00

The Jewish year 5770 started this last Friday, and our church had a big conference this weekend celebrating the Head of the Year. We met on our new land, and because it's just a vacant 31 acre patch, we had to create the entire facility from the ground up. We had a huge tent that seats 2000 put up, and tents for the bookstore and concessions.

The week before the conference began, it started to rain. It rained all week, and the land was mostly mud. We had gravel trucks bringing rock for roads, but the parking area was a muddy mess. So, on Monday we scrambled around and found busses and vans to shuttle the 2000 guests from parking lots nearby. At the beginning of last year, 5769, we learned that one of the meanings of the year had to do with dealing with mud and mire. So....we hadn't had any yet this year--I guess we needed to do that before we moved on the next one.

Lisa and I are in charge of orchestrating concessions for the conferences, so we've been very busy for the last few weeks. We had water delivered, ice delivered, and found some catering trucks to come in and sell breakfast and lunch. My favorite was Karla's Catering, who brought in a smoker and made grilled chicken, fajitas, tacos and burritos. It was good. We also had three van loads of food to sell. We've gotten good at making sure we have enough coffee available, so that went smoothly, and the breaks were good for business.

The amount of work that went into the event was crazy, and it took lots of people to pull it off. But we were able to provide true hospitality to the visitors, and that was worth it.

I spent most the time that I was there in the concessions tent, but I did get to attend the First Fruits service on Saturday night, and William called me to come in and take communion this morning.

I thought it would be fun to include a video and some photos to share the flavor.

Immunizations

2009-08-03T22:26:00.002-05:00

Madeline needed three immunizations before we could send her back to school. So today, I took the kids to the Denton County Department of Health where each shot costs only $10.00. In reading about it online, I also learned that the maximum charge per family per visit was $30.00. So, any other shots would be free.

The ramifications of this didn't quite make it home to me until I was standing there doing the paperwork, and I realized that Abby and Sam might need immunizations too. Fortuantely I had thought to bring their immunization records along. I mentioned to Abby that I was going to have the lady check her records too, and she immediately began to freak out. All of a sudden she went from the lucky sister who didn't need shots to Danger. After a minute I told her she needed to go sit in the waiting area.

As it turned out, Abby didn't need any shots. But Sam did. So, now he went from the smug little brother to a quivering mass of panic in a split second. He began to cry, and fell to the ground, and for some reason the whole thing struck me funny. It's sad to be laughing while your children freak out, but I just couldn't help it. Maybe it was the drama, maybe it was just the publicness of the whole thing, but I really couldn't keep a stright face. My children accused me of cruelty, and I giggled. I tried to convince them that I was sorry for them, but you know, I was so pleased to be getting that fourth shot for free. My time and money were being maximized. And I really didn't want to have to come back for as long as possible.

So Madeline, who had held it together beautifully this whole time, volunteered to go first so that Sam could see how it wasn't that bad. That was a mistake. As he watched the first, the second, and the third needle sink into her arm, he completely lost it. He began to scream and cry and clutch the door. I tried to reason with him, and pick him up. But he was irrational and getting louder all the time. I began to giggle helplessly again. The nurse offered him a sucker. It didn't help. So finally the nurse stepped in--she's done this thousands of times I'm sure--and began to talk to Sam. He was jolted from his panic by her voice, and asked quaveringly what the shot felt like. She said, "a pinch" and he asked her to pinch him to see what it was like. It wasn't bad. So I sat down on the seat with him on my lap, we counted to three, and the shot was over. He didn't even cry.

We left, and got slushies from Sonic (for half price, hee hee) and went on our merry way. I won't have to do that for at least another year. Whew!

Summer so far

2009-06-30T00:01:00.002-05:00

Well, I just realized that it's been about 7 weeks since I blogged. Sad. Since that time, we've finished the school year, and moved into summer. This summer is going to be pretty relaxed. We got a water park pass, so we can go up there whenever we want a beach-like experience. They have slides, and a lazy river. It's almost a date, because the kids can run around without us.

I've changed my work schedule to 3 days a week from 9-4. That way I don't have to leave the house on Friday. It makes a big difference in that summery feeling, and I get to spend more time with Will and the kids.

Our whole family went to camp with the elementary kids from church. Will and I were counselors. It was a good time. We were focusing on hearing from the Lord via the Holy Spirit. One boy had swimmers' ear, and couldn't hear anything out of one of his ears. During one of the sessions, the teacher said, "OK everyone, lets' turn on our listening ears!" When he did that, all of a sudden he heard a bunch of gurgling and clicking and his ear was healed! So that was a prophetic picture of what the Lord wanted to do with us--open our ears to hear him. We spent some time on the last day practicing hearing and seeing what the Lord was saying. It was very powerful to see the kids in action, and good practice for me, too!

Right now Will and Madeline are on the middle school camp trip. It's also been a great time. So far 13 kids have been saved, and there is still another night ahead of them.

Last night I got to go to a benefit dinner for a hospital in Israel. The keynote speaker was Dennis Prager. It was really interesting to hear him talk about Jewish/Christian/American issues. He is very thought provoking...I haven't followed him much, but have heard him a few times.

I'll stop there, and hopefully do this again soon!

Leonard Cohen vs. Mamma Mia

2009-05-03T23:19:00.002-05:00

I've been wanting to see Mamma Mia! for quite a while...I like musicals, because it's always interesting to see how the music fits and moves the story along. I also like seeing current movie actors sing. Its always kind of surprising. For some reason I don't expect actors to be able to sing, which is kind of silly, since most of them probably have other skills besides acting. Hugh Jackman was a big surprise...but I digress.

Anyway, I was disappointed by Mamma Mia. I just had no point of connection with the entire foundation of the movie. The story...a young girl getting married finds her single mother's diary, and learns that there are three men who could possibly be her father. She invites all three of the men to her wedding without telling her mother-hoping to learn who her father is, and fill that dad shaped vacuum. Lots of dancing and drama later, the mother marries the man she loves the best at the wedding that was to be her daughter's, no one knows who the father was, and the girl leaves with her fiance to have adventures in the big world.

In stark contrast is my gut-wrenching indentification with Leonard Cohen. I posted about the concert earlier, and what an amazing experience it was. How is it possible to be so completely drawn in with one artist, and so completely outside with another artist? Nathan mentioned that he's been listening to "Closing Time" by LC a lot lately. So tonight I went online to listen to it. And what was funny to me was that the song starts out a lot like Mamma Mia--women dancing in a bar, everyone having fun. But then it shifts to a much deeper reality/pathos as it progresses. That second half of the song is what Mamma Mia was totally missing. I couldn't help being struck by the obvious contrast, and how I am so clearly on one side of the fence.

Chores

2009-05-01T21:55:00.002-05:00

I went to the healing team to be prayed for last Wednesday. Before I came in, they prayed to find out what the Lord had for me that day. One of the pictures a lady got was of me trudging slowly up a hill like I was carrying a big burden. So she said that she thought I was carrying a burden that I wasn't supposed to be, or doing something that I used to have grace for, but didn't anymore.

Casting my mind about for what that could mean, I realized that the only thing in my life that made me feel that way was the laundry and housework. Its just never done, and whenever I ask the kids to help, not much happens. A couple of weeks ago I had a dream where I was telling the kids to do chores, and they just turned around and wandered away. I woke up really mad.

The ladies didn't really think it was about housework. I guess most moms feel overwhelmed. However, when I told Will about it, he said immediately, "It's about the laundry!" Ah! I was right in the first place. So he proceeded to confront me on my lack of delegation with all the household chores, and told me some stories about how bad his chore load was at age 11. Bad.

I have something in me that believes that the kids should have fun, and not have to work. But on the other hand, I definately don't want to raise a bunch of entitled mess makers. So, I got to work on a chore chart. I made a list of all the things I don't like to clean, and places where other people make more messes than me. I assigned each girl three jobs per day, and Sam two. Everyone helps unload the dishwasher, and then each girl has to help either before or after dinner. Then all three have one other job per day. I've got the girls cleaning their bathroom, mopping the kitchen floor, doing their own laundry, and tidying and vacuuming two main rooms per week. Sam has less demanding jobs, but they still meet a need.

So, this week was the first in the new regime. On another chart, I have money value attached to each job, and some others as well, so that everyone can fill in squares when they do their work. At the end of the month they count up their money and get their allowance.

It seems to be working. I like spending time with one girl per night making dinner. I get to teach them about cooking, and they get to chop things. Or stir things. Or empty the trash. The house is cleaner than usual, and the laundry isn't out of control. Pretty nice. Now I just have to enforce it all. I told them that if they complained they wouldn't get paid for the job. The burden is lighter. Thank you, Lord! You make my path straight-not uphill!

Charlotte's Babies

2009-04-24T08:19:00.002-05:00

Every Spring, there is a foolproof sign that Spring has sprung. It is the presence of thousands of baby spiders floating through the air on their little strands of web. When I go outside, I end up with at least two or three draped across me, and the little spiders are somewhere on my person. The street lamps and signs have web caught on them; they're all over the place.

I immediately think of Charlotte's Web, where her babies are born at the end, and they all float away. But I've never lived in a place where it happened to me before. Our house is in a neighborhood that is set in the middle of open land. I love it, because I love being out of the city. And, apparently, floating baby spiders are part of life in the bigger outdoors.

Happy Resurrection Day!

2009-04-12T17:48:00.002-05:00

Today is the day that we Americans celebrate Jesus' resurrection from the dead. This year we are actually probably right, since Passover was Wednesday...and three days later he came back to life. And it's William's birthday. Happy Birthday William!!!

Since switching our focus from the Western calendar to the Hebrew calendar, we've had an aversion to celebrating Easter. Resurrection Day, yes, Easter, no. I've always wondered why a bunny and eggs were so central to our celebration of Jesus' resurrection, but now I realize that they really have nothing to do with each other. Bunnies and eggs celebrate the Greek goddess of fertility. Yes, we can make a connection by saying that we are celebrating new life, and Jesus' resurrection gives us new life.

However, William feels quite strongly about this, so he really can't do the egg/bunny thing in good conscience. The kids like to hunt, and like candy, so that's what they are sad about missing this time of year.

With that background, here is our funny story for today. We went to lunch after church (which was a great celebration of Jesus' resurrection) to say "Happy Birthday" to Will. While at the restaurant, an employee with a very similar build to William wandered the floor with a giant white bunny head on. He was passing out chocolate eggs. And we all got some. I thought it would be very ironic if the Easter bunny would come sing Happy Birthday to William, but along with the Easter Bunny, William is also horrified at being the public spectacle at a restaurant on his birthday. So, to bless him we kept his birthday a secret. However, it seems that fate had conspired for our children to receive chocolate from the Easter Bunny today anyway.

Then, when we got home, we opened a gift that a friend from Germany had sent us. She stayed with our family over New Year's for our big church conference. And, imagine this, it was full of German chocolate. Woo hoo! So, forces beyond our control apparently decided that we needed a blessing from the Easter Bunny, and a whole bunch of chocolate today.

William and I decided that maybe we just need to say that on Passover we celebrate Jesus' death and resurrection, and on Easter we celebrate chocolate. Minus the bunny.

My Big Picture

2009-04-11T22:42:00.003-05:00

I just have to share something I've been mulling over a lot lately. It has to do with becoming delivered from the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil. When Adam and Eve ate from the tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil, they gained the ability to make distinctions between good and evil apart from God. Before that, they didn't even know about good and evil. They were naked and unashamed. And God wasn't worried about letting them know that yet. Perhaps He would have taught them how to see with Him next to them. But when they gained the ability to do it on their own, they had a foundational shift that made all their perceptions sinful.

This thing is the essence of what separates us from God. We look at people, and situations, and ourselves, and we decide what is good and evil. We can do this all by ourselves. And perhaps we are right some of the time. But the big problem is that we are doing it apart from God. I was really good at looking at things and deciding what was good, and then doing it. But that just led to me being proud and self-righteous, and being good at "being good." I had to repent for my radical disconnection from God. I was horrified when I realized the edifice of self-righteousness that I had built over the course of my life. But then I got to turn around, and walk away from it. Whew!!!

When I read the Bible, I see that God is righteous, and He makes statements about right and wrong, like the 10 Commandments. But there are so many places where He doesn't offer the same commentary that we do. For instance....Tamar dressing up as a prostitute and getting pregnant by Judah, her father-in-law. In that story, Judah was the problem. How about Rebecca, manipulating like some kind of nightmare to get the blessing put on Jacob instead of Esau. God doesn't offer any commentary on that either; instead, His plan and prophecy are advanced. How about Rahab....what were those spies doing in her house in the first place? It is so tempting to offer our own commentary on these stories so that we feel better about our (and God's) morals. And yet, we have David being convicted by Nathan for killing Uriah and committing adultry with Bathsheba. And Ananias and Saphira getting killed for lying about their tithe. Obviously God is not a relativist. But He's also not as judgemental as we often think.

So, my point is that God doesn't think like me, and my job is not to be the one labeling everything so that I feel righteous. My job is to stay in relationship with Him, and do what He tells me to do. Obviously, I might end up with a morally similar looking lifestyle, but when I'm listening to Him, I'm not getting puffed up with pride over my own greatness at doing the right thing. It's a whole different focus. And, I no longer have the pressure on myself to always know the right answer, or have an opinion about everything I encounter. I get to go with God, and relax in Him.

Leonard Cohen

2009-04-04T09:11:00.007-05:00

Doing errands yesterday, Fresh Air was on, and I was just riveted by a poem being read. It turned out to be Leonard Cohen reading A Thousand Kisses Deep. I vaguely remembered that he was going to be in concert in Dallas, so I checked online, and lo! It was that night. Calling Will, I found out that he had heard on NPR that morning about the concert, and had thought he wanted to go. After some frenzied phone calls, we had a babysitter and tickets.

This is the first time in my married life that I've really wanted to go to a concert. Will and I have never been to one together. I don't know why, I think there just hasn't been anyone we've wanted to see that bad. So you can see how amazing it is that we both wanted to go, and without talking about it. We call that a God Thing.

Leonard Cohen is 75. He looks old, but definitely spry, and his voice has gotten deeper with time. I think his age added a lot of poignancy to his performance. I was amazed by the prophetic significance and weight of a number of his songs--so powerful. And of course his poetry is amazing. I really don't have words to give any kind of justice to the experience, except to say that the first song had me crying, the second was like a thunderbolt, and I just sat there amazed most the time. I think that because I haven't listened to a lot of his music, I had the best possible experience; hearing old songs for the first time ever-live.

I really didn't know what to expect, but one of my curiosities was who the audience would be. I'd say the average age was 50, with a smattering of younger people like us, and some older. It was a very spiritually awake crowd, if that makes sense, but not the ones you'd find in a church. I've been thinking a lot about how God is in the business of Reality. What I mean by that is that hiding from truth because it's painful creates distance from God. God can handle the truth of who we are, in all it's good and bad. I think that there is a weakness in Christian culture where there is a need to look good, because we are "righteous." This audience felt to me like it was on the verge of embracing The Kingdom--and I'm making a big distinction here between The Kingdom and mainstream Christianity.

Leonard Cohen speaks from a very honest place, and that resonates with reality. It's a voice that cuts straight to the heart of the matter. His song "Hallelujah" is like this, but so often when I hear other people covering it, it lacks the "anointing" that Leonard Cohen has when he sings it. The same is true with "Everybody Knows" which I heard for the first time by Concrete Blond years ago, although that one is good.

I came away feeling like we couldn't have done anything better with our time or money last night. It was a once in a lifetime experience.

Purim

2009-03-10T13:04:00.005-05:00

Today is Purim: the celebration of the Jew's deliverance from being wiped out by Haman. Our kids were in a Purim play this last Friday, and you can watch the webcast on demand via the Jr High website. Just click on this link.

Speed the Spoil

2009-03-03T14:47:00.006-06:00

At church lately we've been singing a new song, "Speed the Spoil, Hasten the Booty." You can listen to it free for the next 6 days or so.

Of course there are numerous jokes and word plays because we now talk and sing about booty regularly. But the content is taken from Isaiah 8 and part of 9, where Isaiah prophesies that the land of Judah and Israel would be plundered by the Assyrians because of their unrighteousness. God's judgment was coming on them. Chapter 9 starts out with "Nevertheless," and goes on to prophesy the coming of Jesus.

So, the concept that we're working with is that plunder is part of the spiritual reality we live in. The Israelites always plundered the conquered people in war, and were plundered when conquered. Satan comes to steal, kill and destroy. We live in a plunder, or be plundered spiritual reality.

One connection I can make with this passage is the God allowed the Israelites to be plundered by their enemies because of their sin. I've figured out that sin is kind of like a gateway that opens me up to the enemy. Sin is part of life on earth, but repentance closes the gate, and stops the plundering. In conjunction, God restores that which has been taken from us. So, not only do we get to close the gate to being plundered, but we get to take back, or plunder the enemy as we defeat his plans. Emmanuel, or the presence of God, is the key to our plundering the enemy.

In the New Testament, Jesus told the parable about the servants who were given talents by their master, and when the master came back, it was the servants who had multiplied their talents who were given more. The ones who had been faithful had been given more, and the ones who had not been faithful with what they were given were not given more. I was always kind of taken aback by that parable, because I felt like it wasn't fair. But I've also realized that Jesus isn't really worried about fairness. He's more interested in surrender and relationship.

I've been thinking about how in the world "Speed the Spoil, Hasten the Booty" applies to my life. (Beyond moving a little faster.) As I've considered this, I've realized that Satan would like to plunder my emotions, my money, my time, my physical strength. But I get to stand up and say, "No, you can't have that!" If I worry about things, I'm allowing my emotional resources be plundered from me. And actually I'm sinning, and opening up that gate to the enemy. If I am stuck in a day of aimlessness, maybe I really do need a nap, or maybe my time and energy are being plundered. Hmmm. That's a new way to think about it. Instead I'm going to bring them to Emmanuel, God with me, and see what He thinks.

Monday, Monday

2009-02-02T09:42:00.003-06:00

Today is my day off...always a pleasure. Especially since I haven't actually been able to do anything normal since last Monday. Or make that the Monday before that. Two Wednesdays ago I figured out that we had lice, so that started off a boundary-less frenzy of "lice destruction" involving washing all bedding, coats, blankets etc. in the whole house. Then we had to do the fine tooth combing, which was great on Abby and Sam, but Madeline and her long hair was a nightmare. Then William had to comb out my hair. Then, a week later we had to do the whole thing all over again. I think we are good now...but the backup in housework caused by this unexpected mess is still with me, in the form of clean and dirty laundry in piles all over the place.

So, I think that is what I'll be trying to conquer today.

Then, last week we had two ice days, which was nice. But out of the routine. Then Abby was sick the next two days (Thursday and Friday), so I didn't even darken the door of my office at church all week. Saturday we were all home, of course, so this really is the first day in a week that I've had a day to myself. I shouldn't complain too much....William never has a whole day alone to himself.

Today, I washed Dolce first thing. That really needed to happen. Now she's outside getting grass and dirt all over her. But at least she smells good. I'm going to do laundry, and maybe listen to something interesting via podcast. I'm also hoping to make meatloaf, and run a couple of errands. And tonight I have the first in a series of weekly bible studies on Intercessory Prayer. That will be good.

In honor of Homeschoolers

2009-01-17T11:14:00.003-06:00

I've had two different people from church ask me this week if I homeschool my kids. I told them that I don't, but that I am definitely a "homeschool sympathizer." I've figured out that I'm just not a very good homeschooling mom. I'm not very disciplined, and I just would rather let everyone play than try to do something productive. I guess I like to waste time too much to be my own motivator.

I followed a link from Jennifer's blog, and found this Christian comedian, Tim Hawkins. I watched other some of his other You Tube videos, and found the following. But, in honor of all the homeschooling family and friends I know and love, I had to provide this link.

Ahhhh....Happy New Year!

2009-01-12T09:35:00.003-06:00

I'm just getting back into the normal flow of life after a busy Christmas and New Year. We had a great time visiting all the family in California, and then we came home just in time for our GOZ Starting the Year Off Right conference over New Years. I enjoyed having a few weeks off from my usual routine, but then the routine is more welcome when it starts back up. Which really is today.

It was so nice to be all together with my and Will's sisters and parents. We were able to spend some good extended time together, so we didn't feel too rushed. And, thanks to big family gatherings, we were able to see lots of cousins and Aunts and Uncles, too. And of course my grandmas and grandpa! What a blessing to have so many relatives!

Being in California during the winter is kind of surreal, because I've become accustomed to the brown of dead grass and dormant trees in the winter. I'm always surprised by the green lawns and green trees when I visit. I realize what I took for granted all my life, growing up there. But I also like the changes of season I experience here in Texas. The phrase "spring has sprung" now has meaning for me, because it seems like all the leaves pop out of the trees overnight and suddenly everything is green.

I think that January is one of my favorite months. I love getting out a new calendar, and thinking about what the year holds. I also love the idea (notice I said idea) of getting everything cleaned out and organized. It feels good to do it, although I'm not sure how much I'll actually get to do. Work takes up time I could spend organizing my closets...But hey, a little here and there is good. I enjoy the January edition of the magazines I get, because they focus on cleaning too. I just feel good about the whole thing. I'd love to overhaul my whole house, and spend a bunch of money I don't have buying new furniture. But probably I'll feel just as good if I attack the file cabinet in my closet. So, before I tire myself out blogging about it, I think I'll see if I can do just that today. Now there's an ambitious project!

Carlton Pearson

2008-12-07T18:04:00.007-06:00

Last night I heard an interesting show on This American Life about Carlton Pearson, who is a pastor up in Tulsa, OK. It was a replay of an interview from 2005, so this isn't new...A number of years ago he decided that hell couldn't possibly exist, because a loving God couldn't really condemn people to hell. So he began to preach "the gospel of inclusion" in which there isn't any hell, and that Jesus' death on the cross covers all sins of all people regardless of their willingness to repents and receive salvation through Jesus.

The show was from Carlton Pearson's perspective, and he talked about how painful it was to be declared a heretic by Oral Robert's University, and have his church of 5000 disintegrate to 200. People stopped hugging him in the grocery store, stopped asking him to speak, basically turned their backs on him. They also included an interview with one the members of his congregation about how her neighbors used to confront her and tell her how wrong she was to not believe in hell. She felt so relieved that she didn't have to tell people that anymore, because it was mean.

Now his congregation meets in the Unitarian Church in Tulsa. They consider themselves part of the spirit-filled church, they believe that Jesus' blood paid for their sins, and set them free from bondage, and they're glad that they don't have to preach a gospel that condemns anyone.

So...my reflections: I went through a time where I realized that I was really mad at God for the existence of Hell. It seemed so unfair that some people would go to heaven, and some go to hell for eternity. That is a huge punishment. I believe that God is Love. How could a loving God send anyone to Hell?

However, I did believe the Bible is true, so I knew that:

John 3:16-21
"For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish, but have eternal life. For God did not send the Son into the world to judge the world, but that the world might be saved through Him.

He who believes in Him is not judged; he who does not believe has been judged already, because he has not believed in the name of the only begotten Son of God. This is the judgment, that the Light has come into the world, and men loved the darkness rather than the Light, for their deeds were evil.

For everyone who does evil hates the Light, and does not come to the Light for fear that his deeds will be exposed. But he who practices the truth comes to the Light, so that his deeds may be manifested as having been wrought in God."

I have learned over the years that Love doesn't operate in control, so because God is love, he allows us to make choices. We get to choose our response to Jesus' death on the cross. I believe that Christ's blood covers each and every person on the planet, like it says in the first two verses. But then, in the next few, it clears up the other half of the playing field: ours. "He who believes in Him is not judged; he who does not believe has been judged already." And it goes on to describe the reason that people might not choose to believe in the name of Jesus: "For everyone who does evil hates the Light, and does not come to the light for fear that his deeds will be exposed."

One thing I know is that exposure of shameful things is of the most scary, painful, humiliating thing possible. It's because our sinful nature and our pride wants to keep our bad deeds hidden. But I also know that exposure is the best possible thing to happen, because when the evil is exposed, we can repent, be forgiven, and move on.

I've come to my own conviction about the tension over a Loving God and the existence of Hell. I believe that God sees and understands the heart of each human ever born, and no matter what their circumstances, he gives each person an opportunity. Perhaps more than one opportunity. Regardless of culture, upbringing, location, I believe that each soul has a crisis moment where they get to choose to rebel, or surrender to God. It might look different in different circumstances, or cultural identities. It might look like totally orthodox Christianity. But instead of worrying about the questions of whether or not the native who has never seen anyone from the outside world to bring them "the gospel" as I've learned it, I've come to trust that the loving God who created the world will give them their chance to choose Him.

Thank you Cesar

2008-12-02T22:05:00.003-06:00

Lately...We had a great Thanksgiving. We invited a family in our neighborhood who have three kids who are friends with our kids, and we've enjoyed getting to know the parents in the process. We also invited an older couple from our church who don't have family in town. It was fun to have a minor houseful of people, and enjoy new relationships over the table. I haven't had as many large group hospitality opportunities since we've moved to Texas, so I felt a bit rusty getting ready, but everything went off without a hitch, and we all had a great time.

We enjoyed vegging out the rest of the weekend, and today back at work I felt rested and ready to do my job. In fact, everyone at the office was quite chipper. I think the holiday did us all good.

I'm anticipating our trip to CA in 19 days. It will be so fun to see all our family there, and enjoy Christmas as part of the bigger group. We've enjoyed our quiet Christmases for the last two years, and are ready for a wild litany of gatherings.

We checked out The Dog Whisperer on DVD from the library, and have been watching Cesar in action. It's a crack up how the people project so much onto their dogs; I know we do the same with Dolce. (Just see her blog; it's an extreme example of owner projection.) So I've been thinking about exuding "calm assertive energy," especially with my children. My children know when I don't believe in what I'm telling them to do, and my own ambivalence undermines my authority. So, I'm thinking about parenting, thanks to Cesar Milan.

Sam's Arm

2008-10-25T19:59:00.004-05:00

Sam decided to jump off a swing last Sunday at the park, and he ended up with a buckle fracture in both of his little arm bones. So now he's sporting a cool red cast, which we got on Thursday. The doctor said that it will heal up just fine, and the cast is more to keep him from whacking it on anything than holding it in place.

That State Farm ad where.....

2008-09-29T19:50:00.003-05:00

William decided to rewrite Psalm 73 in his own words, which was a very interesting and powerful exercise. I decided to rewrite a certain ad that drives me crazy on the same day. How amazing. We obviously think alike, sort of.

I don't know if any of you have heard or seen the State Farm ad that begins, "You know the place where...." For some reason, when I heard it the first time on NPR, read by the impassive guy who reads the ads, it just sounded wrong. I've been trying to figure out why. Perhaps it's because a big insurance company is trying to make itself feel like a friend. Or like a Good Neighbor.

The NPR ad ended with "Meeting you At That Place Where questions about insurance meets an agent with answers." It just sounded funny out loud, and I had to ask how often the average person actually has burning questions about insurance. I do know something, because I used to be the person who was The Agent With Answers full time. I enjoyed it, but usually Questions About Insurance had to do with a life crisis, or a bill increase. Not the sort of thing you want to chat with a stranger about, necessarily.

Then, I began to see the ads in my Real Simple Magazine. The pattern is "You know the place where (insert abstract relational thought) meets (concrete reality statement). So I thought I'd try to make up my own ads. Maybe you can think of some too.

"You know the place where Sleeping Children Look Like Angels meets Who Wet Mommy's Bed. I'm there. Pull Ups, for those special times of sharing."

"You know the place where It's Saturday Morning! Let's Take a Drive meets A Hungry Husband With Plummeting Blood Sugar. I'm there. Cheese sticks, to keep the crisis at bay."

"You know the place between Browsing the Makeup Aisle Feeling Creative and Realizing This New Eyeshadow Makes Me Look Peaked. I'm there. Coconut Oil, for that hard to remove kind."

"You know the place where I Love My New Hermit Crab meets Where Is My New Hermit Crab. I'm there. Band-aids, for that sudden pinch in the night."

I found it kind of funny

2008-09-08T21:04:00.002-05:00

Today while I was checking out at the grocery store, I did my usual casual glancing at the tabloids lining the checkout aisle. I like to keep slightly current via headline on the latest scandals...Brad and Angelina, Tom and Katie, George and Laura, etc. But I just had to pick up the one that had Sarah Palin holding Trig on the cover. My eye did pass over the one with Obama on the cover dropping off his girls at school, and being the perfect dad, but it wasn't quite as compelling.

You may have already heard the latest Palin scandal: Trig is not her baby. It's Bristol's. She is covering up Bristol's first pregnancy by saying she gave birth to Trig. And, Bristol might not even be pregnant right now, that might be baby weight. Of the after kind. Not the before kind. Sigh. And, not only that, but Todd had a DUI 22 years ago. That would make him....26 when it happened? Maybe? Sigh. Also, Sarah Palin made a snarky comment to a waitress in a diner when Obama got the nomination. (None of the other diners have confirmed this for the record, unfortunately.)

And the punch line is: "That's what happens when you don't believe in abortion, and your kids don't know how to use a condom, because you believe in abstinence, and you're just the first-term governor of Alaska.

The thing I found funny, however, was that as I turned to page 56 to read about the Palin scandal, I was treated to a full page spread of Michelle Obama in various Jackie-esque outfits. They had pasted all these photos of her at different events so that the reader could study her style. She looks great, of course. The funny thing to me is how hard that magazine is working to send a very strong message. Here it is: Barak and Michelle Obama are presidential material, Sarah Palin is not.

Interestingly, on NPR I heard that McCain is leading in the polls 50 to 46 right now, and the only thing they can attribute it to is Sarah Palin.

So, I'm watching with interest to see what happens. It's like a soap opera every day, with a little bit of leakage (who's really nursing????) to keep us interested. I think the plan is to make all those conservatives who like her embarrassed by the huge scandals surrounding her so that no one will vote for her.

My comment on God as a judge

2008-09-03T08:59:00.003-05:00

I have had a knee jerk reaction that doesn’t like the idea of God using tragedy that affects the innocent and guilty alike to judge sin. And it feels very presumptuous to ascribe natural disasters to that motive in God.

A few years ago I had to really wrestle through the problem of pain and suffering and even the existence of Hell if God is a good God. Of course that’s a huge theological/philosophical question, but in a nutshell I came to the belief that: Yes, God is ultimately sovereign and good, but there are other forces acting on this earth, ie: Satan, and sin in us. God takes the things are wrong, like natural disasters and sickness and suffering, and uses them for good for those who love Him. Remember that “good” doesn’t mean our definition of a happy American life. It means stripping us of the lies we believe, and breaking our false foundations so that He can give us truth and reality and a foundation built on Him. Those who love Him are willing to submit to His reality, and that ultimately is the thing that keeps us out of Hell. I really believe that God gives each and every person ever born an opportunity to choose between reality/truth or self-created delusion that enables pride to be what drives a life. God knows what that dividing line and choice look like in each heart.

OK, so that could be a huge blog in itself.

Both Ezekial 16:49-50 and Romans 1 are dealing with the fruit of what happens when people don’t surrender their will to God. Like Jazzgeek and Jeff pointed out, there are a lot of sins that exemplify that state. And since we all have areas that are not surrendered, we all engage in sins of various sorts. Therefore we can’t throw the first stone.

I feel, however, that there is something that makes the Southern Decadence Festival and even the flow of homosexuality different. It has to do with the way it wants to be received.

The Romans 1: 29-31 passage says: They have become filled with every kind of wickedness, evil, greed and depravity. They are full of envy, murder, strife, deceit and malice. They are gossips, slanderers, God-haters, insolent, arrogant and boastful; they invent ways of doing evil; they disobey their parents; they are senseless, faithless, heartless, ruthless.

When I look at this list, I feel like there is a norm in our culture today which says “these things aren’t OK,” for the most part. There are actual laws against murder and slander, and there is a cultural understanding that these other things are “bad” or undesirable. Gossip and arrogance aren’t things that people want in their friends—it causes relational problems. I do think that the things on this list are engaged in on a daily basis, but I don’t think people are doing them for their own sake.

The thing that makes the homosexual issue different is that there is an active plan to make it a lifestyle norm for our culture. The people who believe that homosexuality is “bad” or undesirable are considered bigoted and narrow minded. The idea that God would choose to judge a festival celebrating homosexual behavior feels unkind. But if you do a little more research into what they were doing at the SDF, I think it crosses the line between deluded and flagrant. You don’t see festivals celebrating murderers or child molesters, or sexually active teens. There is a cultural resistance to those things that is being purposefully assaulted by the homosexual movement.

And, as we think about God as Judge, the truth is that He is actively judging deception in us all the time. Those things that happen that show up our lies are our own personal Hurricane Katrina. We have to leave that place of comfort where we’ve been living in deception, and move somewhere else and set up a new foundation based on humility and surrender to God. I’ve experienced enough shaking in my own foundation to see that things that look bad in my life are probably the best thing that could happen to me from a spiritual/truth issues place. It is the mercy of God to allow me to lose the foundational lies now, before I build a bigger house on top of them.

Latest on Todd Bentley

2008-08-22T06:45:00.003-05:00

I was sure to alert you all to the Healing Outpouring going on in Florida, and as far as I know, it's still going. Since then, we got to see Todd Bentley at the UNT Superpit, and I felt very good about him. He gave a totally orthodox salvation message, including repentance for sins covered by the blood of Jesus, so I know that the healing ministry is for the purpose of evangelism. For the last 4 years or so we've kind of kept tabs on him through various trickles of information, and it's been fun and exciting to see what is going on there.

When he showed up in the last year or so with all those tattoos and piercing, I said to Will, "That guy is in a lot of pain." But one thing I've learned is that the Holy Spirit can and does use anyone to minister regardless of their pain level, lack of maturity, or personal issues. And God's been doing that with Todd. Another thing I've learned is that God is in the business of humbling Christians. The verse "God opposes the proud, but gives grace to the humble" is found in two places in the NT, both are in the context of resisting sin.

James 4:4-10

You adulterous people, don't you know that friendship with the world is hatred toward God? Anyone who chooses to be a friend of the world becomes an enemy of God. Or do you think Scripture says without reason that the spirit he caused to live in us envies intensely? But he gives us more grace. That is why Scripture says:

"God opposes the proud
but gives grace to the humble."

Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. Come near to God and he will come near to you. Wash your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded. Grieve, mourn and wail. Change your laughter to mourning and your joy to gloom. Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will lift you up.

Will and I have a little inside comment we make to each other sometimes: "I'd rather be humbled in private than in public." And so far, the Lord has been good to us by keeping us from large scale humiliation (same word, scary implication?). But I have come to the belief that part of the Christian life involves a series of opportunities to humble myself, and each time I choose pride, the cycle gets bigger, and the implications of my pride get bigger, and the fall that happens when the humiliation comes gets bigger....So the continuum of the humiliation process can go from me asking forgiveness for my sins privately in a relationship, to ending up in jail where everyone knows my sin.

A couple of months ago a number of the main apostolic leaders in the Charismatic community, headed by Peter Wagner, went to Florida and publicly blessed Todd and what was happening in Florida. They also brought with their blessing an accountability component for Todd, which he received. So he basically surrendered to their leadership, and received their blessing over what was going on. Before that point there was no outside leadership or accountability for the Florida Outpouring.

The leaders who "put their stamp" on Todd did so in the face of much opposition from various parts of the Christian community, and Todd and the entire healing movement in Florida has been a very polarizing event. Christians either reject it or embrace it.

So, now the big news...In the last couple of weeks, the news has come out from Todd's Fresh Fire ministry that Todd had become "emotionally involved" with a woman on his staff, and his wife and he are separated. Its kind of a no brainer that going non-stop for months at a time is going to make you super weak anywhere that there is weakness but I also know that this is yet another level of humiliation for Todd. I wanted to post a letter from Doris Wagner about the whole event, because it expresses what the Apostolic Leadership over Todd is saying, and I wanted to give you, my dear readers, a bigger picture of what is going on from the Charismatic leadership side of the coin, rather than hearsay.

Here is Doris' letter:

A Message from Doris

My Take on the Lakeland Happenings

August 15, 2008

This past Tuesday, August 12, started out like any other tough travel day. Peter was out of the house by 4 a.m. heading to the airport for a grueling 24 plus hour trip to San Francisco, Tokyo, and finally to Singapore where he would arrive midnight the next day after crossing the International Date Line. He called me from San Francisco with his usual cheerful: "Hi, did you wake up?" He hadn't awakened me to say goodbye since I had major surgery on my foot on August 1 and it is sometimes tough to sleep well with the cast on my foot and lower leg.

Did I wake up? Man, the computer was filled with correspondence about Todd Bentley's announcement that he was separating from his wife. This was not quite a complete surprise since late the evening before the rumor of marital strife had been dropped in our ears, but it was just a rumor. Of course we had hoped it wasn't true. But there it was.

Since Peter doesn't do his own email, I had to read the Lakeland Ledger newspaper article to him. He then called Chuck Pierce, who immediately wrote the following letter to Peter and e-mailed it to me and wanted to fax it to Peter in the United Airline lounge in San Francisco where he had a little layover. After some detective work (I couldn't call him directly, his phone was busy and his battery was fading fast from overuse), I located him in the International Lounge and procured that fax number from the kind receptionist. She found him and positioned him at the fax machine where this letter from Chuck arrived:

August 12, 2008

Dear Peter:

When I got up this morning and prayed about the move of God in Lakeland and Todd Bentley, this is what God showed me: First of all, I felt a compassion to pray for Todd. The anointing of this move has stirred up a hunger in the Body, and the scrutiny of Todd's life has probably taken its toll on him. So when I began to pray for Todd this morning (since I usually set aside Tuesdays to pray), I saw several things. The Spirit of God is beginning to move greatly. Also, I feel that your call to set some sort of apostolic authority in place was warranted because of potential problems moving into this move of God. The order you set in place in Lakeland establishes a structure and boundary for Todd's problems to be addressed. Before that, there were no boundaries, and Lakeland had been going on for almost three months.

The thing we must remember is that God chose to use Todd to stir up the hunger in the Body of Christ. Therefore, as I prayed, the Lord took me to the life of Samson. He is a mystery. He had a Nazarite vow on his life, yet he had many character flaws. His character flaws did not stop God from using him. I think this is the biggest misunderstanding that the Body has when it comes to the anointing. That is why you see anointed men and women being used so mightily by the Lord, and then falling into sexual sin or monetary impropriety.

Because you have set an order for his life now, for the first time he has a shot at being fully accountable and breaking spiritual forces that could destroy his future. What he needs to do now is submit to apostolic authority over the next nine months. Ministry should not to be his goal. Instead, the restoration of covenant alignments must occur in his life. He and his wife might not be able to withstand the pressure of ministry together in the future, but during these nine months Todd's choice would be to submit to the authority structure that God has established in his life publicly. If he does that, he might have a ministry in the future. If this had not been set in place, this would have been much more serious. I'm sure others would say you should not have been involved at all.

Since Stephen Strader requested your help and he is in ICA, you did respond to his Macedonian call. Yes, you would have looked like a hero if you had waited and gotten involved now. But just as you wrote recently, you chose to establish the order first and then any spiritual discipline could be brought. That makes you look like a father.

Again, Todd's ministry allowed us all to see the hunger in the Body of Christ for miracles, healing and just a touch from God. Todd had flaws going into the time in which God chose to initiate his call and had not dealt with some of his problems. But God still chose to use him. Not only did his ministry reveal this hunger, but many have gotten saved. Now, hopefully, Todd will enter in the phase of being disciplined and establish his life in a new way so he can be qualified for use in the future.

Have a good flight to Asia.

Blessings, Chuck

To that, Peter added the following letter the "Lakeland Outpouring Apostolic Team", Skyped it to our assistant and grabbed his plane for Tokyo and Singapore.

To: Lakeland Outpouring Apostolic Team
From: C. Peter Wagner
Date: August 12, 2008
Subject: Todd Bentley's Character Crisis

Most of you would be aware that the Lakeland Ledger broke the news publicly that Todd and Shona have decided to terminate their marriage. In Canada this requires a nine-month "separation" before official divorce proceedings can go into effect. I am quite upset by this development, and I know you will be also. I am now receiving a large amount of "I told you so!" email and I must say that my friends have a point. This has taken the lid off of a number of related character accusations against Todd that are now coming in which I might have dismissed previously, but no longer can do so off hand.

Let's take some time to process this. Todd was officially, publicly aligned with the Revival Alliance, so the three of you should definitely make some kind of statement, probably sending it to Steve Strang. Let's not sweep this under the rug with a "touch not God's anointed" as has been done with so many similar issues in our morally soft charismatic environment.

Meanwhile, I called Chuck Pierce for help, and he sent me the letter I am attaching with this. Chuck has some very encouraging insights for us.

Blessings,
Peter

C. Peter Wagner
President, Global Harvest Ministries
Chancellor, Wagner Leadership Institute
719-262-9922

Then, during all of Tuesday, until after 1 a.m. Wednesday, all of my time was spent at the computer with e-mails and they all fell into two categories: the PROS and the CONS, roughly pretty equally divided. Wednesday and Thursday, all of my waking hours have been spent answering this type of mail.

The Cons are pretty nasty. One even said: "Let me be the first to say 'I told you so.'" These individuals asked Peter not to get involved in the "Lakeland Thing" from the onset. Some of them are probably rejoicing over Todd's problems. Several are demanding a public apology from all who were on the platform on June 23rd, along with God TV. Many are disrespectful, seemingly calling names and slinging mud. They come across to me as jubilant in victory. I question the godliness of this attitude. Along the way we have lost friends who have ceased to trust us, pulled out of our organizations and separated from us. That's o.k. They say we have been guilty of poor decisions and actions.

The Pros have seen things differently. They have agreed with our actions. Let me reflect a little on these actions as I see it. If I seem defensive, forgive me. Peter is such a kind and gentle person that he would never defend himself. I am a deliverance minister, and can become abrasive when I see Religious Spirits, Pharisaical Spirits, Spirits of jealousy, envy and even hatred become exposed. The fattest of all is the Accuser of the Brethren very much at work in the current situation. Whenever Peter is falsely accused in print, he usually just smiles and says "Did they spell my name right?" If things get really bad with false accusations, by a John Doe, he will serenely say "John Doe is not the enemy-we know who the enemy really is." This ability to handle the negative really bugs some folks and they dislike him even more. Believe me, my pillow has been next to his for 58 years and I have seen this played out. There doesn't seem to be a wide neutral zone, either he is liked or disliked. That's just the way it is.

Peter is a man of the highest integrity. He's a man of his word, as honest as the day is long. He has kept his wedding vows-no need to renew them, the old ones are still perfectly good! He has been total fun to live with and to raise our children together. He has treated me as a colleague with great respect. He is brilliant and godly. As we have been working on his memoirs, I have been amazed at what we have accomplished together, and we have worked side by side all of our married lives. Of all women, I consider myself to be highly blessed. Enough of that.

Peter did not jump into the "Lakeland Thing" lightly. He thought about it, prayed about it and we talked it over. Did "the outpouring" or Todd have some imperfections? Absolutely. Peter was asked to help out to set things in order and to investigate what some folks thought might be doctrinally "iffy." He was asked to do this by Lakeland's host, Stephen Strader, a colleague in the International Coalition of Apostles, which Peter leads. It was a "Macedonian Call" for help. That is Peter's job. Many of the Con people mentioned above thought Peter should have said no to this plea. After serious thought, prayer and consultation, particularly with our most closely related prophet, Chuck Pierce, we decided to move forward.

We felt as though there was a legitimate anointing on Todd's life. We knew he was an imperfect person but our honest desire was to sort out and save the good. The other charge against us is that we stupidly could not recognize that these miracles were being done under the power of a satanic spirit and that we were totally lacking in discernment. My answer to that is, there probably was some of the flesh at work on some occasions, and people operating with a higher level of discernment may have picked up on some things we could not. I seriously question whether a satanic spirit got away with all of the good. My conclusion is that it was mixed and we wanted to help sort out the good. The Apostolic Team of 11 apostles which Peter put together is still in the process of sorting all of that out, and time is needed to do that.

The most serious charge against us is that the alignment meeting of June 23 was absolutely wrong (implying that at best we were misled, at worst committed a grave sin in so doing). Our thought was to bring alignment to Todd, thereby gaining the right to speak into his life and ministry as he accepted the apostolic oversight of Che Ahn, Bill Johnson and John Arnott. This was accomplished. Please reread Peter's paper sent out to our entire mailing list a few days ago. Peter did not "ordain" Todd, as some journalists keep saying over and over wanting it to become truth. He blessed him, yes! Isn't it strange that all the negative things surfaced so soon after alignment took place and Todd agreed to oversight?

I see all of this as God's great mercy and love. Lots of critics just plain don't like Todd's looks. He's tattooed and pierced and dresses down on the platform. I wouldn't want my son to look like that, but to throw it all out at the cost of throwing out the anointing needs to be carefully considered. But then the world didn't think much of John the Baptist who probably wore smelly camel pelts and ate bugs. Jesus had other thoughts about John, however. As I work in the field of deliverance we start with what wants help and go from there. To see some major transformation in a person's life is a miracle often witnessed. We work with some raunchy raw material at times and our only prerequisite is that they want to be helped. It's enough. Man, indeed, looks at the outward appearance, but God looks at the heart. Let's look at hearts and the hand of God, and bless what He is blessing.

Todd is in a perfect spot for help. The night of June 23 when we were there, Todd gave a long testimony. He has been wounded, and has wounded others along the way. He is still a young man, rescued from the streets and a biker society. He is not highly schooled or terribly polished. He does not fit the scholarly, seminary finishing school mold. He has not had the advantage of a solid steady home environment. But then again God has this habit of not choosing the things that we would choose. I could easily see that Todd needs deep inner healing and professional-level deliverance he has not yet had the opportunity to receive. One of our critics said that we got it backwards and should have taken him into a back room and ministered to him before the ceremony. We had the luxury of a few minutes with Todd before the evening meeting. We had never met the man before. Was I to say "Hey, Todd, you're a mess and need help in the next five minutes"?

The prescribed protocol is to put things in proper alignment first, then be in a position to speak into his life. That opportunity is presenting itself now. Todd now has the opportunity to address some character flaws and get them healed and corrected in order to carry the anointing God has given him. We in deliverance and inner healing minister to these things daily-they are nothing to be ashamed of. Not to deal with them out of pride or denial is where the shame can take hold. I worked with dairy cows as a kid and picked up some of their lice once. My mom told me as she treated my head with some smelly remedy "The shame is not in getting lice, the shame is in keeping them." I never had lice again!

Be assured that Todd's overseers, Che, John and Bill along with Peter are hard at work. Please give us some time. Peter is in Singapore and goes on to Indonesia for a few days and will not be back until next week. Che is ministering in Korea. Bill and John have killer schedules all summer long. We are working as best and as fast as we can, but there are constraints that slow us a little. Things like thousands of miles and schedules that cannot be changed, and when it is day here it is night in Asia.

I am very optimistic. I see a door of opportunity swung wide open. I see a wonderful, merciful God reaching out. What many are calling a rotten mess I see as a splendid chance for one of the church's finest hours. The mess was there festering for a while anyway, now let's fix it. Is Todd's situation a strange thing? The breakup of the family is one of the most common societal problems we face today. How many other couples contemplating family breakup could be encouraged to get help if this is a successful rehabilitation?

Todd now has some fathers by his side to help in time of need and to avoid shipwreck if he chooses to accept that help. He now has some authority in his life, and parameters are comforting to kids. He is deeply loved by many who are in a position to help spiritually, emotionally and mentally. He is a place of protection he did not have the luxury of before June 23.

Let me close by asking and a few questions:

Might it be that there is a hunger for revival as never before in our country? I think so.

Might it be that God wants to send us that revival and is anxious to do so but needs the right persons and proper government in His church to look after it? I think so.

Could it be that there was true anointing in an imperfect vessel and a merciful God wanted to set up circumstances to bring healing to Todd? I think so.

Could it be that when one apostle asked another for help in separating truth from error in a situation of mixture, that error began to surface so quickly? Isn't the church better off when error is exposed and corrected? I think so.

Could it be that God brought alignment, authority and order into the Lakeland situation and once that order was established Todd was in a safe place to be ministered to? If a wounded soul gets help and is rehabilitated, isn't that good? Isn't it wonderful to have a restoration process in place to help a brother back to useful service and full use of his gifts and anointing? If he decides not to be helped, we have done our job in making that help available, and his overseers have charge of his care.

Isn't this what the church is supposed to look like? I think so. If we fail, at least we will have tried. Not to have tried would have been failure to do what God required of us at this point in time.

Now here is where you come in. PLEASE PRAY. Ask God to so minister to Todd to soften his heart and to reach out for help, and to be fully healed. Ask God to help him to be willing to submit to the apostolic oversight that has been put in place. Ask God to heal his marriage and protect and bless his wife and three children.

This episode has the potential of being one of the finest hours the church has seen in recent years. I implore you to pray. Because this has all been so public it is all of our business and we must act on our knees. We have a real enemy capable of infiltrating the church to truncate this process. Let's fight for victory!

Sincerely, in Christ,

Doris

My crazy Sunday

2008-08-18T21:30:00.002-05:00

My supervising pastor, Lisa, is about to give birth any moment. So, yesterday was her due date, and obviously she wasn't able to be at church doing all she does. I'm her assistant, so for the next month and a half or so, I'm responsible for various details that she does normally. I don't have to be responsible for the elementary kids teachers; Pam is doing that, but we just recruited about 15 new teachers for the fall quarter, and the meeting was yesterday. I had a lot to do, and basically I ran around from 8am to 2pm.

On my list of things to do were:

Get breakfast snacks ready for the elem. kids meeting from 9-10
Make sure all the nurseries were staffed
Find two subs when they weren't
Stay in the nursery until the sub could come
Make sure the babies room wasn't too crazy-we ended up having 4 adults in there with 10 babies
Get the prizes for the elem kids to the teachers in time to pass them out in class
Pick up the lunch at the store and get it ready for the teachers' meeting after church
Find pens and name tags for the teachers for the meeting
Enjoy sitting still while Pam led the meeting

At one point I was actually running across the parking lot with the prizes, and one of the new teachers saw me and asked me later, "was that you I saw running?" Yes it was.

I can't really convey the day, but it was crazy. And fun, in a way, since I had success and nothing too big fell through the cracks. And I was so blessed by the many adults who did the real work of the morning.

Chuck and the Kabbalah

2008-08-01T20:34:00.003-05:00

Last night I talked to Gretchen who had looked at the Chrisma Magazine article about Steve Lapp from Will's blog. At the bottom of the Chrisma article, there was a conversation stream about Chuck Pierce and the Kabbalah. We looked at the links, and found a blog all about how Chuck had to be a Kabbalaist because he uses phrases that are similar to the Kabbalah. It juxtaposed a paragraph from the Kabbalah, and then a paragraph in one of Chuck's letters. There were a number of phrases that were very similar. However, the content of the paragraphs had very different meanings.

Today while I was at work, I heard Chuck mention the Kabbalah issue to someone next door. As he walked past our door, I asked him about it. He said, "Well, if someone's not mad at you for something, you're not saying much..." and we talked a little more. I shared how my sister had called asking me about it.

So today, after I left, Chuck sent out the following email. It's funny for me because I didn't know anything about it until yesterday, but I thought that it might be interesting for ya'll to see what Chuck and Robert have to say about the whole thing.

Dear Friends:

Many times we are asked how what we teach on the months, tribes and the Rosh Chodesh blessing of God is different from the ancient occult Jewish practice of Kabbalah. There is some truth in the Kabbalah when it comes to the names of God and the ancient mysteries connected to the Hebraic letters. However, Kabbalistic signs and writings must be coupled with magical practices for them to have power. This is different from understanding Hebraic times and seasons. By understanding the times and seasons we live in, we can stay in God’s perfect time and then experience His supernatural power and Spirit. True students of Kabbalah live a very strict, stringent life and resist any sort of secularism. Though one sect believes in joyous types of celebration, legalistic rule is part of their structure. None of those are practices at Glory of Zion.

Robert Heidler has written an awesome article that we have used over the past several years when individuals who do not understand why we teach on God’s biblical timing throughout His Word inquire of us as to what we believe concerning God’s Firstfruits blessing. I think you will enjoy this teaching. Kabbalah believes that God Himself cannot be really known. Though He interacts with mankind, we really cannot see God in our midst and know Him personally. We believe you can seek God, find Him, know Him, and have an intimate, personal relationship with Him.

I want to caution you not to discount all supernatural manifestation and teaching at this time in history. We, in Western thought, tend to discount anything that is not totally rational. We must remember that we are spirit, soul and body made in the likeness of God. Kabbalah is linked with oral tradition. We believe in the Word of God. Therefore, the Word of God is the foundation and basis for all teaching that occurs here in this ministry.

Please remember that Jesus tells us that we will worship in Spirit and in truth. Therefore, you must get to know the Spirit of truth as well as the written Word. Do not be like the Pharisees when Jesus said to them in John 5:38-40, “But you do not have His word abiding in you because whom He sent, Him you do not believe. You search the scriptures, for in them you think you have eternal life and these are they which testify of Me. But you are not willing to come to Me that you may have life!”

I want to encourage you to seek the gifts of His Spirit and ask His presence to fill your life. Get to know His presence in your atmosphere. Do not just live the rational life of conforming to the world in your generation. Also, gain knowledge of how God intersects with us in time. You can do this by reading Interpreting the Times and God’s Unfolding Battle Plan. You have been set in time and you can move from blessing to blessing until blessings overtake you. The Holy Spirit is the person of the Trinity that is reigning in the earth realm guiding us. Get to know the Father and the Son through the Spirit.

Blessings,

Chuck D. Pierce

Hebraic Understanding Vs Kabbalah

Several have asked if there is a similarity between what we teach prophetically at Glory of Zion, and the occult Jewish practice of Kabbalah. My answer to that is a clear and unambiguous “no!” I have looked at websites and material that present Kabalistic teaching and I agree that it is occult and clearly demonic.

At Glory of Zion, we operate from a prophetic understanding, based on God’s revelation of Himself to the ancient Jewish people (Rom 3:1-2). Through His historic dealings with Israel, God imparted to the Jewish people a unique “Hebraic” mindset. This Hebraic mindset was also the mindset of the early church. It is part of the “rich sap from the olive root” that Paul writes about in Romans 11:17.

When the church rejected its Jewish roots in the 4th century, it lost the Hebraic mindset, and adopted a pagan Greek worldview. Because of this, there are many things in Scripture, and in the world around us, that we have a hard time understanding.

Because the church has so embraced a pagan Greek worldview, Christians often find the biblical worldview strange and unfamiliar, but it is essential to understand if we are to correctly interpret what God is saying to His church today.

The Hebraic mindset includes the presupposition that God has revealed Himself and His purposes in many ways: Through His calendar, through His providential dealings with Israel, and even through the Hebrew language. The Jews believe that the Hebrew language was the original language given by God in Eden, and the Hebrew alphabet was given by God to enable Torah to be recorded. (Interestingly, many archaeologists now believe that written alphabetic language probably originated with the Hebrew people.)

The kind of thing Chuck and I do, concerning the meaning of the months, tribes, years, etc, does not grow out of Kabalistic teaching, but out of an understanding of the Hebraic mindset God imparted to Israel.

In our English alphabet, for example, a "letter" is just a symbol used to represent a sound. In the Hebrew alphabet, however, individual letters not only represent sounds, but ideas. They each have meaning. (The Hebrew letters were originally pictograms, like the Chinese alphabet.) Even the shapes of the letters can be significant.

The meaning of a Hebrew word was often determined by the collective meanings of the individual letters. This is not Kabbalah. It was always part of the Hebrew language. Jesus, Himself, taught that even the smallest Hebrew letter, and the smallest part of a Hebrew letter had lasting significance (Mt. 5:18).

It is true that those who practice Kabbalah also begin with a Hebraic view of reality. Because of their background in Judaism, they have a Hebraic understanding of God’s times and seasons. They recognize that the Hebrew alphabet has rich meaning. The works of darkness always begin with a grain of truth, but then mix the truth with error. Kabbalah begins with truth that is inherent in God’s creation and perverts it into something occultic.

If we are to accuse Glory of Zion of Kabbalah we must also accuse every astronomer of practicing astrology, since they both astronomers and astrologers study the heavens and track the positions of stars, planets, and constellations. Recognizing the truth God embedded in the Hebrew language is not Kabbalah, any more than all study of the heavens is astrology!

The problem for many Christians today is that we have inherited a Greek rationalistic mindset that has no appreciation of the Bible’s Hebraic context.

If you read even a little of the writings associated with Kabbalah, you quickly see that what they do is VERY much different than what Chuck and I are doing.

We have had a number of Jews listen to our presentation of the Hebrew year. These have included both messianic and non-messianic Jews, and even a Torah scribe from Jerusalem. Their usual response is that they have never heard a Gentile with such a good understanding of the Hebraic way of thinking. None of them considered what we are doing as Kabbala.

I believe the Hebrew months, alphabet, and numbering system are an incredible testimony of God's providential working, and His blessing on the Jewish people.

I hope this helps!

Many blessings,
Dr. Robert Heidler

Our brush with greatness

2008-07-23T19:02:00.003-05:00

Today Will and I went bowling with some people from our church. I should say, Will went bowling, and I went along for fun. We got there about 1/2 hour early, and with time to kill we sat down to watch the other bowlers while we waited. There was a nice family there; mom, dad, two little boys, and an uncle or something. As we idly watched, we began to notice that these two men were bowling strike after strike. It was effortless, and the norm. I was sitting there in my bowling cluelessness saying, "Man, these guys are good!" The balls were seemingly floating down the lane, almost making no noise as they touched the ground. I was very impressed.

Our friend came in the door, and as he walked up to us he said quietly, "Hey, that's Chris Barnes." Who?? It turns out he's a world class bowler who won about $700,000 bowling last year. And not only that, his wife (sitting there watching them) is the top woman bowler in the world right now. Oh. That explains the 30 balls they had with them. It seemed like overkill. But I guess if bowling is your life, it's really not.

So, we had our brush with greatness today. Thank heavens someone told us. We might have missed it!

Update

2008-07-21T10:27:00.002-05:00

I thought I'd give an update on things going on here.

This weekend was quite busy...we had Abby's last soccer games for the summer league she's been in. Her team won the championship, and Abby was delighted. There will be photos on one of our blogs soon. The first game of the day was against the most well matched team in the league, so it was very exciting. We've had fun going to the games, although we aren't a very good soccer family because we kept forgetting the practices on Tuesday nights. Oh well. She made it to most of them.

Madeline went to the play rehearsal that she and Abby are in at church. Both Abigail and Madeline have bigger parts in this one, which is fun. Abigail is going to sing a song with a couple of other girls. The play will be a big experience for Madeline because she is going to sing a solo, which she's never done before. She has a beautiful voice, and we're excited that she is going to make her first debut in front of an audience. She'd nervous, but it will be really good. John Dickson, our GOZ worship leader, is writing the song. He's going to work with Madeline this week to learn it.

This Sunday was also really busy for me. We had a record breaking number of children in the classes that I oversee, so I was running around getting extra chairs, and making copies and finding other helpers and so on. It was actually a very peaceful day in the classes. The kids were happy for the most part, but there were a lot of them. After church we had a "Parents with Children" group lunch and meeting. We have been happy that a fellowship type group has been formed for the many new families who have arrived in the last couple of years.

That's a little of what's going on these days. We still have about a month of summer to enjoy, and we're doing that.

Tomorrow we have Dan and Jacquie coming to visit for a week; we're all looking forward to their arrival. I will have to work, but there will be lots of time for me in the afternoons and weekend to hang out with them.

Todd Bentley Thursday Night

2008-07-04T10:16:00.002-05:00

I thought I'd give an update on the Todd Bentley meeting we went to on Thursday night. It wasn't as crowded as the South Carolina meeting I heard about, although the 10,000 person stadium was full all the way up to the nosebleeds, and even some directly behind the stage. All available parking was taken, and when we got there two hours early it was hard to find a space in the closer parking lot. A tour bus was dropping off people in front of the entrance...it was definitely a big event.

It was good for me to sit through an entire meeting, especially for the sake of context. I really wanted to hear Todd and see a meeting from beginning to end, to get perspective. I came away very comfortable with the Biblical and evangelistic integrity of his message. He didn't do the "Faith Healing" thing that drives me nuts, but rather focused on how the point is to bring people to Jesus, and healings, signs and miracles is a way that he brings people to himself.

I also was impressed by Todd's authenticity and clear communication abilities as he shared what the Lord has done in his life, and what is happening in Florida.

When he moved into the healing ministry time I had to decide whether or not to be suspicious, or just watch with suspended judgement. In a situation where I don't know the people getting ministered to, I am not able to know what happens later. However, I do know that the Lord has worked through Todd Bentley for the last 10 years in healing ministry, so I believe that He was active on Thursday as well. Todd shared that he has a team of people who follow up with those who are claiming healing two weeks after the fact, and the ministry gets copies of x-rays, blood work, and other medical proofs of the healings. He is working to document medically what is happening, and wants this healing revival to be the most well documented one in present history.

He also was clear to acknowledge the fact that God does the healing, not him. Even in the way he dealt with the people who came up on stage, he wasn't doing the ministry right then and there; rather, he was asking them what they felt the Lord do while they were in the stands. The expectation was that the Lord sends his healing angels and anointing to anyone in the meeting. It wasn't necessary to come to the stage to be healed. After a time of ministry, Todd gave a very clear gospel presentation of salvation. He shared his testimony, and gave an invitation to accept Christ. I saw people sprinkled all over raise their hands. He led them in a very traditional sinners prayer, including repentance for sins. It was very good, and definitely an orthodox presentation.

The point of anything the Lord does in our lives is that He get the glory for it. Our part is to have faith and believe that what He has said in the Bible is true. He does the rest. I have found that in my own journey of receiving healing for Rheumatoid Arthritis, I began to pray for healing because it says to in James, but as I did, I began to see that I really didn't believe that God heals today. I also didn't think that God cares about what happens to my body, because it is going to "burn anyway." I had to continuously confront faulty beliefs in my own foundation, and the Lord has reworked my belief structure from the ground up.

I have had to let go of all kinds of things, including false guilt, taking responsibility for what is God's responsibility, vows about not being offensive, fear of being authentic, fear of not looking good to others, unforgiveness, and on and on. In return, I've received the ability to trust the Lord with my life, freedom from the need to control or "do it right", joy, peace, and rest in Jesus. I still have RA, and I still go weekly to the healing team for prayer for full and complete healing, because that's what I'm expecting. But, I can honestly say that the quality of my life has improved beyond dramatically since I began to pray for healing five years ago. On a physical level, I have some pain in my joints each day, but I am able to live my life and do all the things I want to with my kids and friends. I feel like the Lord has lessened the pain and joint damage dramatically, and has me in a holding pattern while I wait for my full healing.

The Lord has communicated a number of things to me during this season in my life. One, that I needed to get prayed for whenever the possibility arose. Two, that I need to be like the widow who went to the judge demanding justice against her adversary. He finally gave in because of her irritating persistence. The Lord told me that I need to be like that widow, and keep asking. The persistence itself was a hard lesson for me to learn, because I believed that whatever happens is God's will (true), therefore prayer is kind of pointless because He wants things to be the way they are, and I should just lay back and accept it (false). Three, He has been showing me how much He loves me. I have a place of rest in the shadow of His wings where I can get refueled and refreshed. It is the best feeling imaginable, and I'd rather have gone through this trial of RA and found that place of love and emotional healing than go back to where I was physically pain free and still believing that God doesn't really know me or love me like I know He does now.

Back to Todd Bentley...I felt like the meeting was for a more mainstream audience than even our church. (Some of you might smile.) Almost no one goes to a church like ours, where seeing the Lord move is a weekly event. So I Ieft feeling like I'd experienced something a little tamer than my weekly Sunday worship experience. However, I was really glad to get a personal context for Todd Bentley, and I feel good about his very clear evangelical message.

Next saga in the revival

2008-06-29T21:11:00.002-05:00

We found out that Todd Bentley is coming to UNT to hold a meeting in the basketball stadium this Thursday, the 3rd. Its about 3 miles from our house. So we are going over there to see him. Our church isn't doing anything as far as hosting goes, but Chuck Pierce is going to introduce and welcome him. We hold our conferences in that stadium, so we know our way around there. That's handy.

The interesting thing we heard was that he held a meeting in South Carolina recently, and the people in charge told him that they'd gotten a facility that holds 6000, with room for 2000 overflow. He said that he didn't need a space that big-only in Florida were the meetings that big. (10,000 every night for the last couple of months.) On the way to the meeting, the traffic was so bad that the Highway Patrol had to come escort Todd and his group down the center divider to get to the meeting place. The traffic was from all the people coming to the meeting, and they had to turn away 8000 people.

So, we have decided to get there a few hours early, and bring our dinner for a picnic while we wait. It should be interesting to see what happens. I'll give a report here later.

It will also be interesting to see if the Todd Bentley meeting makes a difference at our church that weekend. I'm going to make sure I have extra workers available for the childcare, just in case.

The Florida Revival

2008-06-04T07:53:00.011-05:00

I wanted to alert you all to the revival happening right now in Lakeland, Florida. The main minister involved is Todd Bentley, who's ministry we've been watching for a few years now. He is Canadian, and has a very intense testimony, which you can read about in his book "Journey into the Miraculous." He's about 32, is covered with tattoos and piercings, and looks kind of like a shorter William. I've been impressed with his writing and speaking; we've listened to some sermons on his Fresh Fire Ministries website. He's very well grounded in scripture, and obviously has a deep intimacy with the Lord. If you watch the YouTube coverage of the Florida revival, you may not see him giving much content; just getting zapped a lot, and praying for healing for people. For a better examination of his message, look at the Fresh Fire Ministries website.

MSNBC just recently published an article about the Florida revival. I encourage you to read the article here. One of the reasons I decided to write this blog was because of the following paragraph from the MSNBC article:

Not everyone is comfortable with this expression of Christianity, including some Protestant theologians. R. Douglas Geivett, a professor at the conservative, evangelical Talbot School of Theology, is deeply skeptical of the "Florida outpouring" and does not believe Bentley’s claims of supernatural healing are consistent with Christian doctrine

"I don’t think it fits neatly into any branch of Christianity," said Geivett. "Mr. Bentley’s worldview appears to be a mixture of New Age notions, an obsession with the paranormal, and an untutored grasp of Christian theology."

Most of us reading this blog know Doug Geivett, if not personally, then by close association. He's a good guy, and we have been learning from him for years. Knowing his Biblical scholarship, it is surprising to me that he believes that supernatural healing is not consistent with Christian doctrine. All it takes is a cursory look the New Testament to see that healing is a common thread in the ministries of the main leaders in the early church, and of course Jesus. And we've all heard stories of missionaries who had miraculous encounters with Jesus, or angels, and we probably know someone here in America who has been healed by the Lord. So why is it so hard to stomach something like the Florida revival?

One thing I've learned in my experience with the Lord is that there is always an offense that comes with the moves of the Holy Spirit. To receive what the Lord is doing, there is a requirement of humility and faith.

For example: The Virgin Birth. Who in their right mind would believe that a virgin would bear a child? That doctrine right there keeps people out of the church who cannot make that leap of faith. How about Jesus coming as a Servant, not a Conquering King? The NT shows the havoc that wreaked in the Jewish religious community. And of course, Jesus, a man, claiming to be one in the same as God. That one got him crucified. How about the doctrine of Grace? If you can't accept that you don't have what it takes to get to heaven on your own merit, you've missed the whole point. But it takes humility to get over that one.

In every instance of life change in the Bible, there is a requirement of humility and faith: Naaman dipping seven times in the Jordan to be healed of leprosy; the widow giving Elijah the last of her oil and flour for food, which the Lord multiplied for them and then resurrected her son who died; the entire story of Jonah; Daniel; Mary and Joseph; Nicodemus; The Roman Centurion; The ten lepers; and on and on through the Resurrection and Pentecost, and all the stories of the early church. Even the book of Revelation is a vision, which John had to receive by faith. It's the only pattern we have for our Christian walk.

Then of course there are the various revivals throughout history. There are always those who can embrace the thing God is doing, and there are always those who can't. Revivals necessarily include an emotional response, because people are being confronted with the deep love that Jesus has for them. If you haven't experienced what it feels like to know that Jesus loves you beyond measure, just like you are today, because He made you to be who you are, and knows everything in your heart and mind and still loves you, even in your sin and inadequacy, then ask him to show you what it feels like. It is a feeling like no other. I can't describe it adequately, except to say that it's like having a ball of peace down inside your chest, where anxiety used to be. It's overwhelming, and all you can do is worship.

We have a new song that we sing at our church all about how Jesus loves us. You can hear it here. Here are the words:

He is jealous for me

Loves like a hurricane, I am a tree

Bending beneath the weight of His wind and mercy

When all of a sudden

I am unaware of these afflictions eclipsed by glory

And I realize just how beautiful You are

And how gread Your affections are for me

And oh, how He loves us so, oh how He loves us.

We are His portions and He is our prize

Drawn to redemption by the grace in His eyes

If grace is an ocean we're all sinking

So Heaven meets earth like a sloppy wet kiss

And my heart turns violenly inside of my chest

I don't have time to maintain these regrets

When I think about the way

He loves us, oh how He loves us

Last week I was sitting up with the kids to the left side of the stage, and while we were singing it, I looked over the audience and saw people all over crying. It was because they were feeling the love that Jesus has for them, and being ministered to in a deep place in their spirit.

When I watch what is happening in Florida, it looks crazy. People are crying, and falling down, and shaking, and singing, and laughing. There are non-stop stories of healings and even resurrections from the dead. But having experienced what it feels like to be overwhelmingly loved by Jesus, I can understand, at least a little, what's going on there. Healing is always a result of Jesus' love. It is never a reward to us because we are good enough, or did something right. His love carries the offense that all true love does. It isn't based on my ability to earn it. I'm not loved because I deserve it. I'm loved because He just wants to love me.

You may hear more in the future about the Florida revival. It's been going on for over about two months now. I hope that as you evaluate it, you will remember the humility and faith that it takes to receive any move of God, and not just write it off because it looks so extraordinary.

The Petersens

2008-05-25T20:41:00.003-05:00

We have been spending a lot of time with Darren and Jennifer. It all started on December 23rd, when we finally got our families together after going to GOZ for 18 months. We had such a great time that we invited them over for Christmas Eve the next day and decorated gingerbread cookies with all the kids, and stayed up late talking and letting the kids watch movies. They have 5 kids aged 10 and down, and Jenn is about to give birth to number 6. She homeschools and maintains household order, and Darren works on the computers at UNT, and plays sax in our church worship band. All our kids like each other, and get along great, so it's easy to hang out. We are blown away to find a couple who we feel like we've known forever. This weekend their kids are with grandma, so we're getting a babysitter and going out for their anniversary. We're all looking forward to it.

Yearning For Zion

2008-04-22T08:15:00.003-05:00

I spent a couple of hours yesterday watching video and reading articles about the Yearning For Zion Ranch situation (down here in Texas, no less). I also read some articles about women who have left the Fundamentalist Church of Latter Day Saints.

This blog is a comment that I wrote in response to Jonalyn Fincher's blog. She was talking about the need for freedom for women to do whatever they are called to do in life; i.e. work or stay home, as well as questioning the sanctity of "mother love" as an instinct in women in light of the FLDS mothers who allowed their children to live in an abusive situation, but are wanting their children back. I agree with Jonalyn in her desire to bring freedom to women in the church who have been under restrictive or controlling lifestyles. But I don't think that it has to do specifically with working, or staying home with kids, or other life situations.

I believe that the real issue we are talking about here is an identity issue, and a spiritual issue. I have been both a full time mom and a full time worker at different times during my adult life. What I have found is that freedom in my life comes not from my physical circumstances, but from freedom in my spirit to be the person God is calling me to be. I am changing in Him each day, and I will be until I die. What form it takes in the natural is not so much the point as my right to obey the Lord as He leads me.

I had to learn that my wants and needs are valid, that my "no" is valid, and that I can trust my instincts. Control of any kind is actually abuse. Control can be maintained by religious reasoning, physical intimidation, verbal intimidation, and things as subtle as undermining one's confidence in one's basic instincts.

I see the women in the FLDS church subject to all these kinds of abuse in an overt way. I agree with Jonalyn that it happens in the Christian church too. The issues of women's roles is one place where it can happen, but that is just a small part of it. Anytime guilt is used to control behavior, or when fear is part of our Christian walk, we are being controlled by a spirit other than the Holy Spirit. "Shoulds" and "Oughts" are not from the Lord either. It is much bigger in our Christian culture than we realize, and we can't see it until we move out of it.

Men suffer the same bondage that women do if they are kept in any way from the freedom God has for them. I believe that men who want to control the people around them are in as much bondage if not more than those they are controlling. I should add here that women are equally part of the problem when it comes to controlling. It just looks different most the time.

Ultimately, what we are really dealing with here is the age old battle between God and Satan. God always wants to lead us into freedom, and Satan always wants to lead us into bondage. When Jesus came to earth, he did treat women amazingly differently than their culture. But he also treated men differently. He accepted sinners and oppressed of all kinds, and announced his ministry with the passage from Isaiah 61..."The Spirit of the Lord is upon me, for he has anointed me to preach Good News to the poor, He has sent me to proclaim that captive will be released, that the blind will see, that the downtrodden will be freed from their oppressors, and that the time of the Lord's favor has come."

Honestly, as I have begun to walk in the freedom that comes because the Spirit of the Lord is in me, my distinctions between men and women, or circumstances, or functions in life has melted away. I now see myself, and the Christians around me, as a part of the body of Christ, where there is "neither Jew nor Greek, slave nor free, male nor female." I am so delighted to walk in the same ministry that Jesus did-That of bringing freedom to the captives. Any time I hear His voice and obey, I bring the same freedom that He did; to myself, and to those around me, no matter who they are. They might be my children, they might be my coworkers, they might be the people I interact with daily. It doesn't really matter who.

On Sunday night we celebrated Passover, which is the perfect picture of how the Lord takes us out of our bondage and into freedom. It's pretty ugly- there are the plagues, the unhappy Pharaoh, the leaving of the familiar, moving into the unknown, insurmountable obstacles like the Red Sea, and even 40 years wandering in the desert if we don't quite get it. But it is the hallmark of God's ministry in our lives.

My heart breaks for the women of the Yearning For Zion ranch. And yet, I'll bet you anything this is God answering their yearning. Because He will always find and free those who truly yearn for Him.

Snow Day

2008-03-06T16:35:00.004-06:00

This morning I left for work, and it was cold and overcast. By noon it was snowing big cotton ball sized flakes. At 1:30 a guy at church said that the Denton schools were closing down, so I rushed over to the kids' school, and got them. We crawled home at 15mph with the many other non-snow drivers, and made it. I probably could have used chains, which of course I don't have. William is just now walking in the door; it took him an hour and a half to get home. Meanwhile, the kids made some big snowmen in the front yard.

Hi There

2008-03-02T19:45:00.003-06:00

So, almost two months later, I'm back for an update. I started my job working at GOZ, and even though I'm only in the office 20 hrs a week or less, I'm still very busy. Those hours at home were good for getting a lot done. I'm adjusting to doing things a new way, in less time. Or doing less...:-) So far my biggest work has been to make sure all the volunteers are in place each Sunday. Today was the most sketchy, because I had three out of six workers gone. It definately was a Trust God day, and it worked out. I shuffled people around, got a couple of friends to fill in for an hour each, and one mom actually asked me if I needed anyone (bless her), so she filled out the baby nursery. I think I'm going to send out some Thank You cards this week. Being in the church office has been fun. I'm getting to know a lot of people, and I'm having a great time being an extrovert.

A couple who pastor at our church have gotten the green light on starting a married with kids group. Today we had them and three other couples and their kids over to our house to talk about it. I'm excited to have some community, and I know that many other families will too. I made a list from the nursery roster of possible families, and came up with about 40 couples. That kind of surprised everyone. But there really is a need. Our church is growing, and people need to plug in somehow. I think it will be good.

Tonight we are expecting some exciting weather. All weekend its been balmy, 70's with cloud cover blowing in from the south. Somewhere in the early morning, we are supposed to have thunderstorms, and possibly flash floods, as well as snow and freezing rain when the cold front from the north hits. Tomorrow is supposed to be freezing, with highs in the 50's. There is a tornado watch in effect, which means tornadoes are possible. We'll sleep peacefully, expecting children and thunder sometime in the early morning, and the weather radio next to the bed to let us know of any excitement. Thanks, Mom and Dad!

The girls got to be in a Purim play Dinner Theater at church this weekend, and Abigail was Esther. She did great, and spoke her lines clearly and loud enough. We loved seeing our girls on stage. The middle schoolers did a Cowboy Purim, with lots of western movie knockoff. That was funny, and they lip synced some funny Cowboy Purim songs that someone found. We had a dinner beforehand, and had a great time with various friends we gathered at our table. I met a lady in the parking lot who just moved here from Nebraska at the end of December. She hasn't met many people yet. I found out a lot about her; her story is like ours, and so many people at GOZ: God told her to come here, so she came. She left behind her grandchildren and children, and is delighted to be here. It feels like we are living in a magnet, with people coming from all over. I wonder what's going to happen next?

On Wounds and Bad Theology

2008-01-17T12:23:00.000-06:00

I read Grandpa's letter this week in which he talked about the old Holiness theology from way back when. We found out that the old Holiness bird isn't actually quite dead recently in a theological "discussion" with a friend. He had a number of out of context verses to prove the point that there were two levels of salvation, and we went round and round for a while.

What we've seen in our friend is that it is all about his wounds from his absent father being superimposed on God. He only can imagine a God who requires perfect behavior in order to accept us, and also really doesn't love us or want a relationship with us. I'll bet you that crazy theologies could be directly traced back to father issues in those purporting them.

Grandpa talked about the good preaching from the Greek, and scripture in context being a big answer for this (and all) kind of heresy. I agree. But I also think that in whatever ways people are wounded, there is a wrong theology for them to agree with. Or they'll make one up that works for them. ie. Joseph Smith. (Or maybe I should say that Satan is standing ready with a perversion of the truth to feed them.) Their reality that they've experienced matches a messed up view of God. When Jesus shows up in their lives and actually loves them, and heals their hearts, the theology changes to match His reality. Suddenly large portions of scripture make sense.

Interestingly, I think that fewer Christians than we might expect have had that kind of personal encounter with Jesus that changes their view of reality. I think that a weakness in our American Christian culture is to substitute preaching and knowledge of the Bible for the encounter with the Lord through the Holy Spirit. I remember thinking in College that we talked a lot about our "relationship" with Jesus, but I really didn't know how to have a relationship with a person that I couldn't see or hear. I wanted to have a real relationship with this living God, not just talk about it like I knew what I was talking about. I'd say that a lot of pretending was going on, in me and my friends. I told the Lord that I wanted a real relationship with Him, not what I had. And, He's definitely been working on that since.

I see now that a relationship with Him is impossible if the Holy Spirit is not given the correct place in my life. The Holy Spirit is the one that Jesus left to be our teacher and comforter and empowerer. If I'm afraid of the Holy Spirit, then I miss out on the person who is meant to minister to me in my daily life, through the Bible, and other ways. He's creative. And He's one and the same with Jesus and God. So nothing He does will violate the nature of who God is or scripture. There are boundaries, but they feel different than the intellectual exercise I used to engage in as my normal operating system for my Christian life.

Simmering Down

2008-01-11T19:34:00.000-06:00

The holidays are over, our house guests are gone, and everyone is back in school. This week I enjoyed getting the house back into order, and relaxing. I love having family (Dan and Jacquie DeHart and our friend Wendy) stay with us, and I love having everyone home for the Christmas break. But I also appreciate the structure of the schedule when we go back to it.

During the last week our church hosted a big conference at the UNT basketball stadium. I had fun working in the concession stand on Thursday and Friday for four hours each. I always laugh to realize anew what a people person I am. I love helping people get what they need, and the pressure doesn't bother me. It reminded me of when I used to help Aunt Gretchen sell rubber stamps in college. This time I was selling coffee and snacks. But the same rush of people. In return, the church gave me and the other volunteers a $50 gift certificate to the GOZ store, and the new worship CD. I felt more than compensated for my time and effort.

I'm enjoying our new car, and so is William. At the dealership, we had a choice between a 4-cylinder model, and the 6-cylinder super fancy model. I convinced him that the price difference wasn't enough to justify getting less car, so we got the really nice one. He's glad he listened to me as we zoom along at 85 mph with little engine effort. It's definitely the nicest car I've ever owned.

We are looking forward to my parents and Gretchen and Anders' visit in February. We are going to go to my cousin Chad's wedding, and have BBQ at a great place we just discovered, among other things.

Bourne Then and Now

2007-12-17T07:52:00.000-06:00

This weekend we watched The Bourne Ultimatum, and then The Bourne Identity, because one is not enough. I love these films, but everytime I see one, I have to get on my soapbox about action film heros now vs. in the 80's.

When I first saw The Bourne Identity five years ago, I enjoyed it so much that I decided to read the Robert Ludlum novels which the movies are based on. I was very surprised to discover that Jason Bourne in the novels is really a chauvanistic jerk. He kidnaps Marie from a hotel and forces her to help him at gun point. It's been long enough since I read them that I don't remember if they get together, but I think at the least she helps him of her own free will after that. He is also ruthless and amoral. I recommend the books, because the stories are great, but they are definately different. There is also a Bourne Identity movie made much closer to the time of the books, and it's Bourne is very close to the book Bourne. We didn't enjoy it very much.

However, knowing the books, I laugh everytime I watch the new Bourne movies. It is such a great example of how the cultural expectations for men and relationships leave a lasting imprint on the hero. Far from the macho jerk in the books, Bourne in the movies is a Really Good Guy. He's an assassin, but he only kills the other assassins who are trying to kill him first. He doesn't carry a gun, but rather finds one each time he has to use one. He can speak any language, evade a chase in any tiny vehicle, defend himself with a ballpoint pen or rolled up magazine, yet he is lost without Marie. When it comes time to enlist Marie's help, he offers her a lot of money, and lets her choose. That is so much more appropriate behavior, because women today need to choose their destinies. It isn't until the bad guys kill Marie that he moves from reactive to proactive, and we know it's all because his heart is broken, so we can forgive just about anything. He's a killer we can love. He hardly even swears.

I sit there laughing and pointing out these things as we watch, and I love the films because Bourne is the kind of hero I can empathize with, for all the above reasons. I guess I'm as shaped by the culture I live in as Bourne is.

GOZ Christmas musical

2007-12-07T12:57:00.000-06:00

This year Madeline and Abigail are dancing in the grand finale of our Glory of Zion Christmas musical. I've been having fun going to the rehersals with them and seeing more of the musical. Their part is at the end, but if any of you would like to see the musical, you can watch the live webcast online on Dec. 15th at 6:30pm CST. The link is http://www.gloryofzion.org/. You just choose the webcast info box at the bottom left corner of the screen, and follow the directions. The picture quality isn't the best, but the sound will be good. I'll try to wave at the camera. Maybe you'll see me!

My Own Little Hanukkah

2007-12-04T21:01:00.000-06:00

This year we are celebrating Hanukkah, along with Christmas. So, tonight, something funny happened. For a little background, Hanukkah is a celebration of the miracle that happened when Judah Maccabee led a small army against the Romans, and reclaimed the temple in Jerusalem. It was before the time of Christ, during the 400 years between Old and New Testament. After they cleaned and prepared the temple, the Jews dedicated it again to the Lord. The Feast of Dedication, or Hanukkah, was scheduled to last for a week, but when they went to light the menorah, there was only enough oil for one day. It took 8 days to consecrate new oil for burning, so they couldn’t wait for that to happen. The miracle was that the oil lasted for the entire eight days, until the new oil was ready and could be used.

So Hanukkah is a celebration of God’s miracles of provision, and the Hanukkiah is a menorah with nine candle holders instead of seven like in the menorah. The middle candle is called the “servant candle,” which is a prophetic picture of Jesus. Jesus is called the light of the world, and said that if you want to be great in God’s kingdom, you must be a servant.

So, back to the story…I got nine votive candles and lined them up with little tea lights in them. I lit the center candle and the first candle on the left. We'll light one more each night. We enjoyed it for a while, and then I blew them out. William came by and said, “Hey, these aren’t burning!” I responded, “Yes, I blew them out because I didn’t want to use up all the tea light before the end of the eight days.” Ummm….Oh, that’s exactly what Hanukkah is celebrating-the miracle of the oil that lasted when there was only enough for one day. It struck me really funny that I was having the same worries the Jews had. I’m not sure I’m quite able to keep the votives burning for eight days straight just to see if the Miracle of Light happens in my living room.

By the way, Jesus celebrated Hanukkah too. See the following scripture.

John 10:22-39

Then came the Feast of Dedication at Jerusalem. It was winter, and Jesus was in the temple area walking in Solomon's Colonnade. The Jews gathered around him, saying, "How long will you keep us in suspense? If you are the Christ, tell us plainly."

Jesus answered, "I did tell you, but you do not believe. The miracles I do in my Father's name speak for me, but you do not believe because you are not my sheep. My sheep listen to my voice; I know them, and they follow me. I give them eternal life, and they shall never perish; no one can snatch them out of my hand. My Father, who has given them to me, is greater than all; no one can snatch them out of my Father's hand. I and the Father are one."

Again the Jews picked up stones to stone him, but Jesus said to them, "I have shown you many great miracles from the Father. For which of these do you stone me?"

"We are not stoning you for any of these," replied the Jews, "but for blasphemy, because you, a mere man, claim to be God."

Jesus answered them, "Is it not written in your Law, `I have said you are gods'? If he called them `gods,' to whom the word of God came-and the Scripture cannot be broken- what about the one whom the Father set apart as his very own and sent into the world? Why then do you accuse me of blasphemy because I said, `I am God's Son'? Do not believe me unless I do what my Father does. But if I do it, even though you do not believe me, believe the miracles, that you may know and understand that the Father is in me, and I in the Father." Again they tried to seize him, but he escaped their grasp.

It's interesting that Jesus keeps referring to the miracles He has performed, especially in light of the fact that they were celebrating the miracle God did at the first Feast of Dedication at the time.

I Got A Job!

2007-11-06T08:26:00.001-06:00

About six weeks ago, the girl in charge of the children's ministry at our church told me she was going to be needing an assistant to take care of the nursery. She thought of me right away, since we've worked together well on that before. So, I've been all excited for a while now.

In the meanwhile, she's been trained to take on more responsibilities, and I've been waiting to see what happens. This Sunday, she officially introduced me to Chuck Pierce, who is the president of our church organization, and whom I've only known by proximity. Then, yesterday she called me because she's working on a job description for me. It looks like I'll be working with her about 25-30 hours a week; coordinating the nursery, and helping with other stuff for the children's ministry.

I'm really excited to have a job, especially one like this, where the hours work with the kid's school schedule, and the fun of working at church with her.

Last night I made a fake turkey dinner with a roasted chicken, cranberry sauce, box stuffing, green beans and gravy. It was really good. I felt stuffed afterwards, just like I do on Thanksgiving. Those flavors just require eating a little extra. I resisted the urge to make a pumpkin pie. That can happen another night.

On the Abigail front, Abby's teacher called last week to let me know that Abby had taken all the tests with the school counselor, and was now going to be allowed to be tested for dyslexia. They do a bunch of IQ tests to see if the child's intelligence is far enough ahead of their reading skills to warrant dyslexia testing. So, now we know what we've always known...Abby is a smart cookie. I have been very pleased to see her reading signs and things for fun while we are out doing things. It is going to be great to see her get the help she needs to move on with reading.

I've been using coconut oil for all kinds of skin issues lately. I got an ant bite the other day, and I put coconut oil on it, and the pain went away. I also rub it on Abby's eczema, and that always clears right up, and when Sam stepped on an ant mound accidentally in sandals and got about 11 bites, I rubbed it on his feet and put socks on them. His bites are numerous enough that I keep doing it every night, and before he went to school today. I think it makes a big difference. I know that Aunt Luanne had a coconut oil business of some kind. What happened with that? I had to buy my coconut oil at the natural foods store for $15 for a 16oz container. There's some money in that stuff...

Bacon Bits

2007-10-26T07:29:00.000-05:00

I was very surprised this morning when I went out to take the kids to the bus stop to see ICE on our van windows. I had no idea we were going to hit freezing tempuratures this fast. Especially since last week we were in the 80's. My thin summer blood is slowly thickening up. The leaves on our oak tree turned red overnight, and I'm being hit with an urge to bake. I think its safe to say that fall is here.
A couple of Saturdays ago Madeline came out of her bedroom, saw Will and I finishing up some bacon, and said sadly, "I want some bacon too!" I responded, tenderly, "I'm so sorry honey, there were only seven pieces." But then I realized how rediculous that sounded. Only seven? William sheepishly said, "Actually, there were nine." I couldn't stop laughing, and Madeline was sitting there with a confused look on her face, trying to figure out what was so funny. You'd think that nine peices of bacon would keep a family of five at least slightly satisfied for bacon. But, that day, it didn't. Will and I now repeat the line "I'm so sorry honey, there were only seven peices of bacon" when things seem a little out of balance around here.

Moose Alert!

2007-10-19T09:38:00.000-05:00

OK, I think Fall has finally come to Denton. I'm a little wary to say so, because it might be 90 degrees tomorrow, but last night I left two windows open 1 inch each, and the circulating fan on, and the house was 68 degrees by morning. We've been A/C-ing to keep it at 75 degrees for the last five months. I love being able to open the windows and air everything out finally. I realized that I'm used to open windows from life in California, so it's been a little strange to get used to having them closed so much of the time. I see now the value of candles in freshing the old air.

Abigail said something really funny the other night, but before I tell the story, I'll give a little history. Abby has consistantly been about one year behind grade level in her reading abilities, and we even had her repeat first grade in home school to give her time to catch up a bit. This year she's in third grade. A few days into the school year, her teacher called me to say that she loves Abigail, she's a great student, but have we ever considered getting her tested for dyslexia? I think she was expecting me to balk at the idea, so was surprised when I said we never have had her tested, but that we'd be very grateful for any help or illumination shed on the problem. I had been praying for some kind of breakthrough for Abby, and I felt like this was the thing. So I gave her the go-ahead for whatever process is involved. I had to laugh because her teacher said, "Well, I'm happy to say that her difficulty reading hasn't affected her self-confidence!" Yes, she'd noticed that...

Back to the story... Last night Abigail said to me, "Mom, why do I have to learn to read? I can read street signs, like 'STOP' and 'MOOSE!'" I'm afraid that here in North Texas that may not be the most necessary skill... So we had a little conversation about the value of reading, and so on. By the way, Abby has a new blog. You can get to it with the link on this blog.

Here are a few road signs that Abby, and any Texas driver should know... Definately be aware of "Armadillo X-ing." I have never seen a live Armadillo, yet, but I have seen many dead ones on the side of the road.

I also recommend that the crazy cross country truck drivers pay close attention to this one. And Abby too, for that matter, because flipped trucks are a surprisingly common sight on the freeways here. William even had a major backup one day because a truck had flipped over on an overpass, and was balancing on the edge, so all the traffic going under had to be diverted to the frontage road. I also have to add the story about the flipped FedEx truck. There were packages scattered in the fields on the side of the freeway for hundreds of feet. Will and I had fun imagining scenarios: "I'm sorry ma'am, but your package is somewhere in the middle of Texas. We won't be able to retrieve it..." or "Joe, we need to get someone down there to collect and catalog what fell out. Get some guys on it and report by Monday." (Meanwhile, there is a severe thunderstorm...) Or, "Opps." And, to show you how common this problem is, there is another story about a randomly tipped truck on the onramp to the I35. It was just lying on it's side in the praire grass like a beached whale. It wasn't even a very sharp turn. How does this keep happening?

And then, my favorite saying, "Turn around, Don't Drown." Whenever we have a flashflood warning, the computer voice at the end of the broadcast says this in an eerie monotone. I like to copy it when we get lots of rain.

And of course, this being Texas, Abby really should become aware of possible cattle danger. Also appropriate is the motorcycle in the corner. On warm, but not too hot, days, we see many middle-aged men with no helmets crusing the area. Maybe someone should make a sign that emphasizes the safety of helmets. Helmet-less riders cause us more worry than the other hazards combined. I guess its all about perspective.

Oh, Abby's testing will begin in a few weeks. The red tape is long and tangled, I guess. But the district has a great program that makes a big difference. I'm looking forward to seeing what they do with her.

Happy Birthday, Madeline!

2007-09-22T17:52:00.000-05:00

Madeline was 11 on Sept. 20th. Wow. She pooled all her birthday money to buy a Nintendo DS lite. It's the first piece of high tech equipment owned by one of my children. I read an article recently about how 'tweens are demanding more high tech toys. And I realized that I now have a "'tween". Hmm. I'm glad to be a young mom. Most people think that Sam is my oldest, and they're surprised when I tell them I have two other older daughters. It's kind of fun, actually.

On another note, I got a part-time job as assistant to the children's ministry director at church. We have worked together on nursery things before, so I know we work well together. I haven't actually started the job yet. I'm thinking things will start in October. But its a new page in my life that I'm looking forward to.

Encore...

2007-09-19T19:53:00.000-05:00

This spider has definitely been the most popular thing on my blog for a long time. William could not resist getting another photo for my appreciative audience. Here's lookin' atcha.

Things Are Bigger in Texas

2007-09-15T19:23:00.000-05:00

At the end of July we discovered this spider in our backyard. We had seen few others on the bushes near the pool, and had marveled at the size and color. I put my hand there to give a sense of proportion. You can see a look of slight concern on my face, although I'm sure this is a harmless garden spider. The size is just creepy. And so are the bright yellow markings.

But, I will say that more bugs have been fun for the kids. Abby and Sam love to catch crickets and grasshoppers; Abby is quite fearless about grabbing them. We also have been seeing decent sized toads at night, along with flying bugs we've never seen in California.

Fall Snap

2007-09-11T15:33:00.000-05:00

Today was the first day with a cold snap in the air. This morning, instead of the usual 85 degree plus weather we've been experiencing, it was 65 degrees. I opened the windows for the first time in about 5 months, and am really enjoying the fresh fall air.

A Taste of New Year's Day

2007-09-06T17:06:00.000-05:00

You can check Erin's blog later, but I will announce that her baby was born today at 12:30pm. Congratulations Erin and Jim! I'll let them give the rest of the facts on their blog.

I was cleaning out my refrigerator yesterday, and I found a container of bleu cheese that had no purpose. I saw that I had the rest of the stuff for a cheese ball, so I made three small ones last night. Today, I sat down with a mound of cheese ball and crackers for lunch. As I tasted it, I had the immediate thought, "Tastes like New Year's!" It is so wierd how a taste can take you somewhere. We only made cheese balls at New Year's, so to eat one in September is like time travel. Yummy.

Some Good Books

2007-09-05T08:21:00.000-05:00

I found a mystery series that I'm enjoying. It's called the Dame Frevisse Medieval Mystery series, by Margaret Frazer. The main character is a Benedictine nun. They are set in medieval England in the 1400's. Besides great writing and character development, I'm enjoying the prayers that Dame Frevisse thinks about through out her day. It's almost like reading a devotional sometimes. Each story takes place in a different realm of medieval society, so I'm learning a lot about that culture. Anyway, I highly recommend these books.

The other series I'm enjoying is the #1 Ladies Detective Agency books by Alexander McCall Smith. I've read most of them, and when I'm in the mood for Africa instead of medieval England, I just switch books. His other series, The Sunday Philosophy Club, and The Portuguese Irregular Verb books are also very good. I love the fact that one Scottish author can write so personally about Botswana, Scotland, and Germany. Each series has its own feeling; the characters are different from each other, but the things that make Alexander McCall Smith good are there in each one. One theme in all three series is what it means to be an individual as part of a larger community. He also does a great job of exploring moral choices in relationships, and the dynamics of relationships in general.

Portuguese Irregular Verbs is the funniest little three volume set. It describes the misguided exploits of a relationally clueless bachelor German professor. He is always getting into embarrassing situations, but half the time he’s not quite aware of it. Everyone around him is responding appropriately, but he thinks they’re the ones with the problem. When he is aware of his relational mistakes, he is in agony trying to fix the problem, which usually leads to more problems. They are fun reading.

Last but not least, I started a new Beth Moore bible study last night called “Believing God.” In her opening lecture, Beth talked about the gap between our theology and our reality. She said that faith, or believing God, is the bridge that crosses that gap, and connects our theology and reality into an authentic experience. I was so blessed by the last study I did, and I’m looking forward to this one.

The Bride of Christ

2007-09-04T09:39:00.001-05:00

I've been thinking a lot about what it means to be the Bride of Christ...personally and corporately. I've made friends with a Lebonese woman in my town. She is really beautiful, and I feel like she is the closest match I've met that might fit into the Song of Solomon poem. I never really got the references to Pomogranates and flocks of goats and so on. But for some reason those words make sense next to her.

She showed me her wedding photos last time we met. It was great to see the entire 24 hour process captured, with the traditional ceremonies and dancing and so on. She said that they bascially start saving for their weddings at birth, and when they hear about how much celebrities here in the US spend on weddings they laugh, because proportionally, it is less than the usual Lebonese wedding. It was really lavish, with jewels and silks and glittery makeup and expensive everything. Lots of food and dancing, with my friend the center of the celebration as the bride.

Seeing the wedding got me thinking about what it means to be the Bride of Christ. For some reason the Lord chose to express His heart to us through the middle eastern culture, with the Jews as His chosen people, and the Bible being culturally based there. As I ruminated on what I'd seen in current times, the ancient words began to hold more meaning. The bride is so valued and lavished on, and Christ sees the Church that way. It's all about the Bride.

I used to see myself as a tool of the Lord. I believed that my purpose was to be used by him for his purposes. My needs and growth were less important than being useful to the Lord. Over the years, my view has changed, and now I see myself (and each Christian) as the main point. I am not here to be used, I am here to become exactly the woman that I am destined to be. In that process, I get to do the good works that have been planned since the beginning of time. I believe those good works are specific for each person. They fit who we are, and it's less about doing lots of good, than it is doing exactly the good that is specifically planned for us. It's about Trust and Obey.

When I think about the Church as the Bride, I see a whole new level of value. We aren't just a bunch of people who believe certian truths, who are saved from hell, who behave, who gather each Sunday. We are a living body that is being fashioned into a bride fit for the King. How different to hear the King say, "You are beautiful, my darling, as Tirzah, lovely as Jerusalem, majestic as troops with banners." (Song of Songs 6:4) And His banner over us is Love.

New Old Home Details

2007-09-01T12:28:00.000-05:00

We've been doing lots of things to our house. We've been here for about 13 months now, and things are getting more refined. One of the few things I don't like about my kitchen is that it doesn't have any windows. The wall where the window would be has the stove on it, so that's that. I realized that the newer houses here tend to have less windows than the old houses I've grown up in. I'm sure it because we have to heat and cool the house pretty much all year, so it saves money. Here you can see my latest brain wave: Hanging old windows between the livingroom and kitchen. I found them at a Habitat for Humanity warehouse where contractors take their old home parts and dump them instead of a landfill. You can find just about anything that used to be in a house. And in the back was a big pile of old windows. They were $2.50 each. Obviously no one sees any value in them. I've been thinking about how to get a few into the house somehow for about a year, since I saw them last summer.

In this photo of me and the kids last Sunday morning, you can see the shelf behind me, which Dan DeHart installed for me last summer. I've put a bunch of the things that I never had a spot for before, including a collection of old kitchen utensils from Uncle Elmer. I guess my goal is to make my new house look as old as possible. Its kind of working.

The First Day of School

2007-08-29T17:20:00.001-05:00

I'm entering a new phase of life: All my kids are at school all day. It's nice, but very different. I realized that I haven't had any alone time for the last eleven years unless a babysitter made it possible. So, now I have 7 hours a day to myself.

Today I went to Panera and drank tea and read a book after dropping off the kids, and then grocery shopping, and the Bank, and prayer at church. It was great to take my time, and have peace, but I don't talk much by myself. I have to remember to sing to keep my voice from getting croaky. I heard another mom talking to her toddler in the store, and I realized that usually that's me doing the talking. This not talking thing is kind of a surprise.

The kids did fine on their first day. Sam was pretty reluctant, but we went to "Meet your teacher night" on Monday, so he got to see his room and meet the teacher. That helped make him less worried about Kidnergarten. On Tuesday morning, we went to school with Chrissa down the street, also K, and her mom. (See photo) She is Sam's friend, and was in his class too, fortunately. As I left, I realized that there are these portholes in the wall to Sam's class where the worried parents can observe their little darling secretly. I took photos so you can get the feeling too. You can see Sam and Chrissa at their table if you look carefully.

Madeline and Abby are getting used to their new teachers. Abby's is more strict than last years, so that's different. Madeline has a nice group of teachers too, and she moves from subject to subject in different classes. Good practice for next year.

Of course I had to document the sweaty, hot, tired, hungry children as they disembarked from the bus at the end of the day. They'll be riding the bus both ways. Sam said the bus is his favorite part of the day.

2007-03-07T11:45:00.000-06:00

Hello everyone,

We've made it through February...It's amazing to realize that we are almost one year from our big transition to Texas that began last April.

I am excited to be making a short visit to California next week to visit a few family members. I'm also going to visit Trader Joe's...I definately miss that place! It will be my first time back since the move, so I'm looking forward to the trip.

This summer we are also going to CA for Will's sister's wedding, and then a vacation during July. We'll get to hit all our favorite spots and get a fill of the beach.

I just started a Beth Moore Bible Study at church, which I can tell is going to be a blessing. I'm also glad to get to know some of the other women in the church better.

That's the basics for now...Really basic...

I made it to the library

2007-01-24T09:57:00.000-06:00

Its horrifying to see that my last post was about four months ago. But, since then our laptop with the wireless card died, so blogging at the library is tricky with Sam in tow. I'm doing it today though, despite all.

We had a good Christmas...our first away from family. On Christmas Eve I was thinking that this is our "cold turkey Christmas" where we celebrate with no family at all. And, interestingly, we got invited to a neighbor's house for Christmas dinner, and they served cold turkey. They had cooked and carved the bird the night before, and then refrigerated it on it's platter. So we had hot potatoes and gravy, and hot stuffing, and hot yams, and cold turkey. I thought that was quite symbolic.

I have been getting to know a lot of my neighbors, and am really enjoying building relationships with a whole new crowd. It's been a good foil for me to see myself in a new setting, and I'm seeing more clearly who I am.

I've been experiencing a lot of joy when I realize that I am becoming more and more free from all the old "should" messages I used to live under (see David's blog about niceness). In church on Sunday we were singing a song about how Pharoah kept God's people from experiencing the life God had for them. And then the next verse talks about we don't have Pharoah in America today, but we have religious and political structures that create bondage in the same way. The chorus says, "freedom to dance, freedom to sing, freedom to live." As I was singing (and dancing) I found myself suprisingly emotional. I realized that freedom in the Lord through trusting him and the Holy Spirit to lead me in all things has changed my Christian life immensely. I don't worry about knowing the right answers, or even being ready to argue the latest apologitic with some poor soul. I know that any power to change peoples' lives comes directly from the Lord, not me. So the pressure is off in every way, and I just get to sit back and trust and obey, and see the results. It's so delightful and freeing.

Long in the Tooth

2006-09-25T15:31:00.000-05:00

Grandpa made a mention that my blog is getting "long in the tooth," which I thought was a very good description. I haven't been online in weeks. But, to catch everyone up, we had a great time with Heather and David and the kids when they were here earlier this month. Our kids got along great, and it was nice to see that our house can handle two families. Heather and I went and found Central Market, which is a really upscale grocery store about 40 minutes away. I've been wanting to go there, so we had fun checking it out. Having the Shackelfords here made our house feel even more like a home. I'm looking forward to building fun memories like that as time goes on.

Madeline and Abigail are doing well in school, and Will's job is bumping along at a satisfactory rate. We are really settling into our life routine here.

I am enjoying spending time with Sam during the day, and I am also getting to know some of my neighbors, which is fun.

Church has been wonderful and encouraging. We had a gathering this last Saturday night, and I have to say that the highlight for me was when the worship leader moved into rap during one of the songs. David and Heather can understand what that might look like, having visited. Anyway, I definately enjoyed the spontinaity (sp?) and general fun we have there.

I am helping in the 4 year old class now, since we have moved to a two service format starting this week. So I work with the kids from 7:30am to 11:00, and then go to the second service with Will and the kids. I've committed to work through December, so we'll see how that goes. Anyway, I really appreciate all that my kids recieve there, so I'm glad to give something back.

Since Labor Day the weather has been much more moderate, and today was in the high 70's. Fall is in the air-my favorite time of year. I love being able to open the windows and air out the house.

Yesterday we went on a walk, and for fun stopped at the community pool. On a whim we let the kids go in in their clothes, which they loved. They shivered their way home, but it was a great unusual experience.

More daily details

2006-08-11T13:01:00.000-05:00

I'm at the library again, so I can post some news. Things are slowly coming together, but we are still living in the moving chaos of unpacked boxes and bags with no place to put the contents yet. However, I conqured the livingroom furniture yesterday by finally arranging it in a way that feel right. And I took the trouble to hem all four sides of a 30 ft peice of fabric that I bought for a "window treatment" which is finally up and looking good. I took some photos, which I'll post as soon as possible.

Will has been working these last two weeks going to district conferences and setting up his room. There are a ton of details, but he's finally figuring out what the curriculum is. School starts Monday, August 14th for him, so we are down to the wire on prep time.

The girls are going to be attending our local elementary school here in Denton, and that starts on Tuesday, August 15th. I'm looking forward to the structure and schedule, and also time to concentrate on household orgaization tasks. Sam is pretty self entertaining, so I'll have time to think things through.

A few details about the physical location of our home...We are about 3 miles south of Denton's downtown area off of the I-35 west. Our tract stands alone surrounded by trees and fields, so it's very quiet and pretty. We are only 1/2 mile from the offramp, and Will can take the I-35 down to Ft Worth where he is teaching. It's about a 40 minute drive, but only a small part of it has traffic, which he can avoid with surface streets if necessary.

Our church, the kid's school, and downtown shopping etc are all about 5 miles away. So we get the luxury of a rural setting with the convenience of town nearby.

We really like Denton. Last night I was talking to Will about the homey feeling we have in certian parts of town. I love knowing that this is our hometown, and I love the history here.

Lots going on

2006-07-29T17:27:00.000-05:00

We have had a very busy and nice past two weeks. We moved into our new home on July 13th, and Dan and Jacquie DeHart arrived two days later to help us move our things out of storage and work on the home. We have been painting, bringing over loads of things, Dan built a shelf in the kitchen, and installed doors for the study/Sam's room, and other miscellaneous things. It has been great to have them here, and show them our life in Texas.

Then, my parents arrived one week later, and they just left yesterday. We had a nice grandparents birthday party for Abigail, (and my mom) and got to take them on a little tour of the Denton area and show them around. It was so nice to see both sets of parents, and now we are beginning to experience life at a more normal pace in our new home. There are still lots of things to do, but we'll keep plugging away.

Both grandparents took our kids school shopping, and really blessed us and the kids with some school clothes, shoes and supplies, as well as the emotional energy it takes to actually do the shopping. It was fun for the kids, and now their shoes and clothes have special meaning for them, as gifts from grandmas and grandpas.

One note of excitement (for me at least) is that I got a front loader washer (with matching dryer). I've been doing research for the last three years on them, and I am all excited to have my own new washer and dryer. I really like using the front loader because it uses so much less water, and gets the clothes very clean. Laundry is one of my favorite chores, so I am all pleased to have new machines.

On Thursday we went down to Fort Worth to find Will's school where he'll be teaching, and we were happy to see that it is at the very north of Ft. Worth, and as close to our home as possible. Also, it's a small school, with a good facility. He is glad to be in a real building instead of trailers like Agua Dulce. I think this will be a great situation for him.

School here starts August 15th, so we only two more weeks of summer, and then a real schedule begins. Will begins inservice days this week.

I'm looking forward to the luxury of time with Sam alone, and the schedule/structure that school brings.

Today is Finally the Day

2006-07-13T09:08:00.000-05:00

Well, today is the day that we go sign all the paperwork and get the keys for our new home. The money came through yesterday, and all the ducks are finally lined up. So, 2:00pm is our appointment time, and after that we can start moving in.

We are all so excited, of course. And, Dan and Jacquie DeHart are driving to Texas as I write this, and should be arriving here Friday night or Saturday morning. They are going to stay with us, and help us move our stuff in. We will all be "camping" together. We are really looking forward to seeing them, and it will be great having them stay.

It's almost surreal to be at the day of move in, after all the ups and downs we've been through in this process. But, I give God the glory for our roots growing here. Our official address will be: 4500 Napa Valley Drive, Argyle, TX 76226. We will use our cell phones for a while. If you don't have those numbers, just e-mail me.

I found our digital camera, so I'll begin to post photos as I have internet access. Thanks for all your prayers during this process!

Update

2006-07-07T21:15:00.000-05:00

A quick update on the house...we probably won't be in until Tuesday, due to various loan red tape intricacies. But, hopefully that will be the day. More to come.

The Wheels are Moving

2006-07-06T18:57:00.000-05:00

Thank you for your many comments on Madeline and Abigail's blogs. They love reading them, and are so excited.

Today was a busy day. We found bought auto and motorcycle insurance, got a vehicle inspection done on our cars, ordered a new headlight casing for the Mazda so that it could pass the vehicle inspection, and did laundry. It was a very productive day, and we feel good and tired. As soon as we finish the inspection process we can register the cars, and then get our Texas driver's licenses. Lots of red tape, but we are charging through it.

I want to give the latest update on the house...It looks like we will be able to close on our house either tomorrow or Monday. We are just allowing ourselves to get excited about our new home, since we have kept it in check until we were more sure. I will really enter into the joy of a home when we have the keys in our hand. Already I've been thinking all about paint colors, and various decorating ideas. Its so fun to have a blank canvas before me to be creative with. I have to thank the Lord for His plans and provision in our lives. He is able to give us a better life than we could grasp for ourselves, and all the aspects that make up our "life" here so far are really orchestrated by Him.

It is neat to see the details emerge from the mist of possibilities and uncertianties that we've been living in for the last two months. Will has a job lined up for the Fall teaching ESL kids English, and preparing them for the classroom. I think he'll really enjoy the non-traditional classroom setting, and the various ethnic backgrounds he'll get to work with. And of course we have been hugely blessed and encouraged through this dramatic transition by our new church family at Glory of Zion. The Lord knew how much we'd need the support and community during this transition, and amazingly we found Glory our second Sunday here in Texas. So now, two months later, we are really fitting into the community, and getting to know quite a few people.

And now, last but not least we are getting a home to live in that we love, and that fits all our needs, and is in a great location for church and work. We could not have put together this triangle of structure if we had all the resources and knowledge ourselves. The Lord knows best.

We have felt so loved and supported (sometimes literally) by our family, and I want to thank you for your gifts and prayers. We have felt very loved by the Lord and by you. Of course we aren't quite settled yet, and there are still loose ends to tie up. And we know that this is just the beginning of our journey here in Texas. But it is nice to feel like the "vehicle for life" has been built. We'll see where we go in it.

I'm planning to post before and after photos of our house, as soon as I find the camera...

So all this is to say that I want to give all praise and glory to God because He has done, and is doing, the work of this transition. We are trusting and listening and obeying, but He is orchestrating the details. And he is doing work in our hearts too. The outside circumstances of life are all about the potter shaping the clay, and there is nothing like moving into the unknown to set up a big art session with God.

Two New Bloggers

2006-07-05T10:07:00.000-05:00

In recent discovery of all the new cousin bloggers on the scene I decided to allow our two daughters to begin their own blogs. I realized how neat it will be ten years from now to look back and see the things they have written.

Chatter Box

Crosswords

It will be fun for them to hear from you all. You can bet you will be greeted with much enthusiasm.

The Latest in DeHart Drama

2006-06-26T12:19:00.000-05:00

I have not blogged for a long time due to the fact that each day is a new drama, and just living life is enough work to keep me from more creative endevors like blogging. Finally, however, I wanted to give an update.

You can get caught up at Will's blog, too, if you haven't read it yet. Anyway, I am getting lots of practice at living one day at a time, and exercising my "faith muscles" in the midst.

This week is a telling week for the possible purchase of our house. Will made a fleece with the Lord that if this isn't the house for us, either the loan or the down payment will not come through. So, the loan has gone through with no hitches (despite being unemployed, homeless, and penniless for all intents and purposes), and now we are waiting on my in-laws for the down payment, which is in process. We are supposed to close this Friday, so we'll see. I am not counting my chicken until it hatches.

The Lord is providing for us in various ways as we walk through this transition. We have been blessed by some money from family at different times, and our church is helping us this week with room and board, and surprisingly, at mystery $99 turned up in the bank account through some kind of math error in the checkbook. So, each day we use what we have, and if we need something we pray about it. The Lord told us pointedly not to use the credit card at all, so we are being faithful not to, and really trusting Him to be faithful to provide.

Each day is scary, exciting, dramatic, and, interestingly, we have a lot of joy. For the last three years the Lord keeps bringing to our attention the verse, "The joy of the Lord is your strength" from Nehemiah. It seems that the whole point of our life right now is to learn what that looks like lived out in a faith walk with Him. When you don't have all the stuff you are used to, you get to practice majoring on the majors.

As a family we are doing well. The kids are great troopers through all this transition, and we are having good family time together in our small quarters. Will and I are getting good at meeting our basic needs for exercise by discovering lots of parks and indoor playplaces for the kids. It is quite hot during the day, so we avoid the park until after 6:30pm or so, and then enjoy the relative cool until the mosquitoes come out at dusk. I'd say we are definately more active and healthy than we were in Palmdale. There just seems to be more to do around here.

We are all loving our church, Glory of Zion. They have a great kids ministry, and I am happy because the kids are on the same track as the adults as far as what they do and learn in their times. We are encouraged every Sunday and Wednesday by what we are learning, and by the worship. We feel so blessed to have a church where we are surrounded by people who understand what the Lord is doing in our lives, and can encourage us to deeper belief and faith in Him and his promises.

So, that is the thumbnail update. I am experiencing a wide gamut of emotions, but even when it's hard I know that the Lord is doing a specific work in us during this time, and my job is to trust and obey him, and worship in the midst of it all.

Words from the Kids

2006-06-12T13:22:00.000-05:00

Madeline says...I cannot wait to get my own room in our future house. I have lots of ideas how to decorate it, and I can't wait to paint the walls and put in my furniture. I hope it works out to get the house. My closet is really big in my room, and it has two rods for my clothes. I was thinking about painting horses on the walls, and making a background for them.

I would love to have a dog. If it was a girl, I'd like to name it Hazelnut. But it would be an outside dog. Me and Abigail could take it for walks and feed it, and bathe it. And we could clean up after it. I hope we get a dog.

Our house is really big. (1950 sq ft) We have a nice kitchen, and we can have both our tables in the house. It would be nice to have our own house.

Abigail says...Hello everyone who reads this. I hope everything is going good. My birthday is coming up, it's on July 30th if you forgot.

Hows all the grandmas and grandpas doing? If the person who reads this has kids, I hope they are doing well. Everything is going OK at this place. I've been a hungry hippo since we got to Texas. (Everything's bigger in Texas, including the kids) I hardly ever stop eating. We watch TV more than we did before. My favorite TV station is PBS kids. If you ever see Maya and Miguel, Arther, and Fetch with Ruff Ruffman those are my favorites.

I was less hungry in California than I am here. But I still do have one problem. I am always hungry at bedtime, and mom says, "The kitchen is closed!" And I hate that. If I could have it my way, I would get food whenever I feel like it. I would eat grapes, pizza, and other good foods.

How are everyone's dogs? Are they being nice right now? Write me back on the comments if you want.

I want my room to be rainbow. The sheets are circles like a target. I want to hang four sheets on the walls. By the way, this is what I want. But I might not be able to get it, which makes me sad, but I might too. We will have to buy a lot of the same kind of sheets. It will not have dark colors, meaning like black, because I like colorful and bright colors, like red, orange, yellow, green, blue and purple.

Happy Father's Day, and also Mother's Day, even though it already passed. Tell me if you want when you comment back if your kids sent you a little note. I am very curious. Like Curious George.

From Abigail Rose DeHart.

4500 Napa Valley, Argyle, Texas

2006-05-19T20:49:00.000-05:00

Hello, It's William posting on Heidi's Blog. Just wanted to put up some pictures of the house we are looking seriously at. Enjoy.

Here is the Front View! Behold the majestic peaks!

You can see that the back yard slopes up a bit in the back. However, half of the yard is level, and there is plenty of room for a play place. Yes! And the BBQ.

The east side of the house.

This is my favorite feature of the home--the fireplace. I am excited to have Claude, Tim, Stacy, all the Shackelfords, and of course the grandparents, and anyone else to come and sit by the fire.

Here is Sam's future bedroom--the study. My suggestion: put some saloon doors there for Sam and his six gun to barrel through.

Those aren't the Grand Tetons in the distance. You can't see them from here. However, the army corps. of engineers owns the property directly across from the house and we have a view of the forest.

The westside of the house. See, there is some distance between us and the neighbors. We can extend our fence forward and I can practice my archery skills on the weekend.

This Might Be The House

2006-05-19T18:26:00.000-05:00

We have been feverishly looking for jobs, and have been researching homes regularly. We spent one whole day with a realtor and saw 14 homes from Denton and down south to Flower Mound, and we have done a lot of random driving and Realtor.com looking up and finding too. What I am discovering is that the homes I love (old, charming, like Whittier) cost about 160k and up if they are functional. There are some even more wonderful old ones for 300k, of course. The ones we can afford are falling off their foundations, and need major work, which takes them back out of our price range.

So, yesterday I looked up some 95k homes, and we took a tour. They ended up being either ugly in a run down neighborhood, or falling apart. On our way back from Denton, we decided to stop in at a tract that we saw the first day we were hunting to look again at a home that was 1950 sq ft. with 3 bedrooms and a study that could be a fourth bedroom. We had never seen inside, so we went in and looked around. And, now that I knew what our money could buy, I realized that this home is a great deal. It is brand new, trouble free, cute, and 5 miles south of Denton off the 35W. That means it is close to our new church, and out in the country. It is also 14 fwy miles from Jim and Erin. And, even better yet, the original price was 131k, and 15k had been dropped by the builder because the people had chosen their tile etc. and then backed out, and they really want to sell it.

It has all the things we want including a fireplace, tile instead of linoleum, and the study room, is close to where we want to be, in a tract that is almost finished. And now I know that 116k won't buy us much in other places. It looks like this will be the one. I have photos which I'll download soon. Oh, and the other good thing is that it will be ready June 15th, which is perfect timing for us. The DeHarts are helping us with the downpayment, which makes it all possible, so I think we are really going to have a house to call our own.

The next big hurdle is the job, so please keep praying for that. Will has put lots of applications out there, and will put out more, but we are waiting to see what turns up. Thanks again for your prayers!

Oh, we have put our cell phone on hold for the next three months to save money, so I'm sorry we won't have that up and running. Please call us on E and J's number...

Texas Life Continued

2006-05-15T12:27:00.000-05:00

I just typed a letter to Grandpa, and realized that it would be a good newsy blog, so here goes...

We've been exploring our surroundings here, and last night we invited Erin and Jim to go down to the airport and watch airplanes with us. We drove all around the thing, and finally found a golf club right under the flight path for landing planes where we could pull off the road and get out. It was fun to see the jets come right over our heads. Sam and the girls loved it. They also had fun messing up fire ant mounds and watching the ants come flowing out in a panic.

We are still in the job hunt. William has three resumes in the hands of temp agencies, and we are also going through the process of getting the Calif teaching credential examined and approved of by the Texas state education dept. That could take two months, maybe more. But I don't think the schools can really even look at Will until he has the approval letter in his hand. So, the hunt is on for anything else to fill the gaps.

Dan and Jacquie DeHart are going to come out and visit us in a couple of weeks in their fifth wheel trailer. There is a really pretty campground about 4 miles from us that they can use, and we'll go hang out there during their stay. We are looking forward to that.

Another fun event is that we discovered the town of Grapevine. It is large now, but there is a really cute downtown area surrounded by craftsman style homes. It felt like Whittier at it's best, and there are lots of festivals and events in town, including an old steam engine train that you can take to Ft Worth. I think it's pretty expensive, but maybe someday we'll try it. I am salivating over the old homes. My dream would be to buy one and fix it up, but I'm not sure that's practical right now. There were some homes that had been refurbished, and they were running at about 250-350k. We definitely need something cheaper.

Oh, we also tried out a new church yesterday. It's called Glory of Zion, and its up in Denton, about 18 miles away, and it was a lot of fun. They had very lively worship, and the kids liked the Sunday School. The sermon was good, and we'll probably go back again. They pass out a book to all the visitors entitled "Experiencing the Holy Spirit" written by the pastor. It turns out that he is a Campus Crusade alum, and Dallas Theological Seminary grad who became a charismatic. I was glad to see that he had all the foundation of scholarly Bible study and Greek etc, because that shows that he can do it. He also announced that he is teaching a class called "The Word and Spirit" which is basically a how-to study the Bible in conjunction with the Holy Spirit. I was glad to see that Bible Study was highly valued from the pulpit. The other things I liked were that there were a mix of ethnicities, and a balance of men and women in the service, and a wide age range. So those are all healthy signs. We'll see how that goes.

The weather has been really nice. Its in the 70's, breezy and not too humid today. I'm really enjoying not needing to use lotion after every shower, and the warmer weather. When we left Palmdale it was in the 60's, and chilly at night, so I always had to take a jacket with me. It's probably warmer there now, but it was a big difference when we arrived here.

Walt and Judy Barnes are coming to visit on Thursday, so this week I'm going to help Erin get the house and room ready, and I'm also going to help her with cooking while they're here. I'll provide some starches.

So far we are really enjoing Texas. It is very green and beautiful, life is a bit slower, and the people are very friendly. We've been scouting the surrounding areas for homes, and have had fun discovering what is around us, and how to get there. I'm definately finding that I prefer an older home, but I also realize that the tracts have a lot to offer in the way of general convenience. I know the Lord has the right place for us, and the right job. So, we are waiting and responding as He points out. I was talking to Gretchen the other day, and she quoted Chris who basically was saying that "Responsibility" is "the ability to respond." I liked that definition, and shared it with William. That is what we are doing every day...responding with action to the opportunites that come along. It's like casting the bread upon the water, and now we are waiting for it to come back.

What Happened Today?

2006-05-10T21:03:00.000-05:00

We went to the library this morning to use their wireless internet connection, since the one here at the Barnes house wasn't running. While there, Meg called me and I hurried out into the library foyer where I wouldn't offend the quiet rules with my phone. It was a bit awkward, since we had the double cell phone silences, and my voice still echoed loudly against the hard surfaces, and the kids kept running in and out, but we still had a good talk.

Meg gave me the local low-down on the area we are in, since she and Murry grew up here. The long and short is that she encouraged us to look in Denton for homes. So, on her recommendation, we drove the 14 miles north, and cruised the neighborhoods around the universities looking at houses. And, we found some great homes in older, treelined neighborhoods that were much closer to our price range.

So, tomorrow we are going with a realtor to look again at the area, and see inside a bunch of houses. I'm looking forward to seeing what's there. I like the fact that Denton is an older college town. I even found some homes that felt just like Whittier.

Surprisingly to me, I was super tired after we came home, so Erin and I made tacos together, and now the kids are in bed, and I'll go have some ice cream.

Oh, by the way, our cell phone minutes are out, so we need to talk to everyone after 9:00pm our time, or on the weekends. If you call, just leave a message and we'll pick it up later. Or, you can call us on Erin and Jim's phone anytime.

We Made It

2006-05-03T21:17:00.000-05:00

I need to officially report that we made it to the Barnes' Oasis. We drove for three long days, day two being the worst, and rolled in at about 6:30pm on Tuesday. I have some photos of the drive, which I'll post when I can.

Since we've gotten here, we've been enjoying home cooked meals, good beds, and the pool. Today we got to drive around town and look at some of the neighborhoods where we could buy. It was fun to get oriented. I will say that it is much prettier here than I was imagining. There are lots of old trees, and right now everything is green. It is a far cry from the desert landscape we are used to. And, I am really enjoying the silence of the neighborhood.

So, tomorrow we go unpack the truck at the storage unit. I'm believing that it won't be as difficult to unpack as it was to pack, and it will be good to have the big yellow truck out of the yard.

One exciting event, we saw our first snake in the pool. It was Erin and Jim's first snake too. Fortunately it was a garden snake, since we were all swimming and it swam over William's shoulder. You bet we left the water quickly. Now we look carefully before we get in.

We are blessed by Erin and Jim's hospitality and generosity to us. And we are praying that the right job comes along for William. He'll be going to a teacher's job fair on Monday, and we'll see what happens. I know many of you are praying too, so thank you.

It's Been A Long Time Since I Worked This Hard

2006-04-29T19:23:00.000-05:00

Today is the T minus one day in which we loaded the 26' rental truck with all our earthly posessions. William's uncles Jim and Jock, came and helped us, along with Dan and Jacquie. So, I figured out that we all worked 4 or 5 hours apeice, which adds up to 25-30 hours of work. Wow.

Yesterday, our good friends Jamie and Christina came over, and we all worked together finishing all the boxing and bagging and cleaning out things. It has been such a blessing to have friends and family help us with this huge task, and it was a lot more fun, too.

I have to tell a funny story about the Penske Truck rental pickup place. We drove this morning out to a part of Lancaster I'd never visited before, and for good reason. I was wondering if the store was really there because we were driving through Joshua Trees and tumbleweeds all alone, when we saw the place on the side of the road. We pulled into the dirt driveway, avoiding chickens, roosters and one large peacock who was showing off his plumes. We knew we were in the right place, because there were a number of Penske trucks parked in the yard. The business turns out to be a family owned business/homestead that has been in operation for 46 years. We walked into building, and began to notice the many collections lining the walls. There were Precious Moments figures, Pepsi bottles, various antiques, soaps and lotions for sale, more figurines behind glass, a lifesized poster of John Wayne, some calendars for tracking your pregnancy, a special pet food display, and two cats wandering it all.

We eventually got called back behind the partition, where Grandma was at the computer (grandpa was down with the flu), auntie was at the other desk, and two grandsons were around playing with the other computer. We sat down on our side of the desk facing the sign on the back of the computer that said, "If you are rude, mean, or just plain difficult there will be a $10.00 charge added to your bill for the trouble." We tried to be extra nice. And, it was necessary because our records didn't come up when our name was entered. Next, when it did come up, it suddenly disappeared. There was a five minute mystery until Grandma ferrited out the fact that Grandson had just unplugged a cord on the router, thus cutting off the internet. That got fixed, and we were back in business.

All the while, William was getting more and more nervous. I, on the other hand, was giggling at the uniqueness of the situation and surroundings. At one point, Betty came in. She was a skinny lady with long grey hair in a ponytail under a baseball cap. She wore an old flannel, and very baggy jeans that had seen many days of work. She told us in a raspy command that we had better be sure to buy insurance for the tow dolly, because one time some people had turned down the coverage and the dolly had been stolen, so they had to pay around $3000. Grandma sent her out to do her job, which was to locate the dolly, attach it to the truck, and bring the truck around. I think she is in charge of the outdoor inventory. I was just delighted to find so many unusual people in this unusual place, and it really started the day off right. We finally got everything settled, and left with our huge truck.

So, tonight we are relaxing, and having a BBQ sendoff at the DeHarts. We'll try to go to bed early, and leave around 5:00 tomorrow morning. We are going to take the more northern route through Flagstaff, AZ, Albequirqe, NM, and Amarillo, TX. It is supposed to be a much more beautiful route, and for us here in Palmdale, it is also more direct. Next time I'll try to post some photos of the move.

More Direction

2006-04-20T22:17:00.000-05:00

Well, things are getting clearer. We have been waiting for some confirmation from the Lord about where to go, and, interestingly enough, He seems to be pointing towards Texas. I won't go into the various details, but things are pointing that way, and there is no other indication of somewhere else.

So, we are going to go for it, knowing full well that the Lord can do something dramatic to show us differently if we are off base.

We are leaving CA on April 30th in a moving van with the Hyundai towing behind. I'll drive the Mazda, and we'll do it in three days. We'll be moving in with Erin and Jim, while William finds a job, and we hunt for a house. Happily, there is a teacher job fair on May 8th which he can attend.

And, excitingly, we can actually afford to buy a home there. I'm a little dazed even imagining owning a home, since I've given up on the idea so completely as long as we're a one income family in Californa. I feel like living in Palmdale has helped prepare us for Texas weather, and I have gotten used to seeing most of the sky, which I like.

So, that's the latest. Please feel free to pray for us with the job and home hunt, and for safety as we travel.

Some News

2006-04-08T23:48:00.000-05:00

Well, as most of you know, I have been waiting for news to see whether or not I was accepted to Wheaton. I got my letter today, and I was not accepted. Interestingly, William had a dream about a month ago in which we got the non-acceptance letter, so I kind of had to process the possibility then. So, while I am sad, I am also feeling a sense of relief in finally knowing for sure. I had to come to the place where I could trust the Lord to do the best for me, even if it was different that what I believed was best. And I know that He has dreams for my life that I have no concept of at this point.

This does leave us with less direction than we would have had if I'd been accepted, but it also feels like we have freedom for anything. We are waiting to see what the next path is. Oh, we gave our 30 day notice at the apartment, so we will be moving by April 30th for sure. The questions is, Where? There is always Texas, with Erin and Jim, who are being very encouraging and helpful to make the path smooth. We'll just see what happens in the next 22 days.

Now I know what it means to be "Tagged"

2006-04-04T23:07:00.000-05:00

When Ariana tagged me, I actually didn’t know what that meant. I figured it out tonight when I was reading Aunt Lu’s blog, and I laughed at my own ignorance. So finally, Ariana, here you go…

Four jobs I've had in my life:
Babysitter
Wallpaperbook organizer/ duster of ornate objects for JP Adams in Whittier
Receptionist for Parkville Insurance
Customer Service Rep for Parkville Insurance

Four movies I can watch over and over again:
Pride and Prejudice (the five hour version)
The Prince of Egypt
My Fair Lady
Beauty and the Beast
(It probably seems juvenille to have cartoons on my list, but have you heard the music in these two?)

Four places I have lived:
Next door to the Mortuary, La Habra
The Homeplace, Whittier
The In-law’s, Agua Dulce
The “Affordable Housing” Complex, Palmdale

Four TV shows I love to watch (on DVD, rented from Hollywood Video):
Lost
Arrested Development (hilarious, thanks Ariana and Jared for the tip)
The Shield (Great writing, relationally/ character driven, but not for the faint of heart)
Alias seasons 1-3

Four places I have been on vacation (or just a trip:)
California Coast
Victoria, BC
Mindanao, Philippines
Grand Junction, CO

Four web sites I visit daily:
I don’t get online daily, but when I do, I
Look at blogs
Check the news at the Yahoo home page
Balance the checkbook at the bank site
Salivate over the Jjill clothing

Four of my favorite foods:
Chocolate
Pumpkin Seeds
Fruit
Whipped cream on fruit, or scones

Four places I would rather be right now:
In our next home
On vacation at a hotel on the Calif coast
At the Huntington Library
Visiting with friends

Four people I am tagging:
Heather Shackelford (hee hee)
Espen
Erin
Gretchen

The Latest Transition

2006-03-28T23:04:00.000-06:00

I have become more comfortable with the idea that life is a series of transitions. And, just like in childbirth, transition is definately the worst time of the delivery. I said to William the other day, "I don't think I can handle this painful uncomfortable feeling for very long." And he reminded me of how quickly transition in labor occurs. Well, if he is right, this unknowing, excited, nervous feeling won't last for three months like I'm afraid it will.

To continue the birth metaphor, I also feel like I have no idea what the "baby" will be. I still don't know whether or not I'll be accepted to Wheaton. The "pregnancy" of realizing I wanted to go, getting the application, applying, thinking about it etc. has lasted for 10 months now. The Lord has had me working through the process of giving up that dream if it is not His dream for me, and I can honestly say that at this moment I feel like I can trust him to lead me to the place that will be best for me. So, if I don't get accepted, we really have no clue where we will end up. And if I do get accepted, there are still real hurdles to getting there before that is a sure thing. Ehhhhh

I am excited to see what happens. I am encouraged by your comments on William's blog, and really, I feel a lot of joy at the freedom to follow the Lord's leading, whatever that may be.

A Little Fashion Fun

2006-03-15T14:06:00.000-06:00

We have been talking about letting Abby color her hair with KoolAid for around 2 years. I guess it is a sign of her personality that she wanted to color her hair (blue at the time) at age 5. So, today at Walmart, I happened upon the 20 cent packet of unsweetened KoolAid, and figured, why not? Here are some photos of the results. My red fingers are not included, but I think the color will last longer on them than Abby's hair.

I also wanted to post some photos from our drive to church on Sunday with snow around. It was gone soon, but definately novel. Our apartment is the building in the bottom photo. We walk up the walk, and our unit is the top balcony in the back.

Catching up

2006-03-13T12:40:00.000-06:00

Since last writing, Gretchen and Chris got married, we experienced a real snowfall, and we made camping reservations for April.

The wedding was such a nice one. I loved the music, and it was a very meaningful time. I am happy to say that I think Gretchen and Chris got just the wedding they wanted. Erin's blog has good photos. I took mine with the 35mm camera. Too bad. We had a lot of fun enjoying the festivities, and Madeline, Abigail and Sam were running full steam looking cute and doing funny unique things during the weekend. It was great for them to be with family and friends who don't see them much.

This last weekend we had real snow. It was about 2 inches deep on Saturday night. The kids went out to play with the neighbors. How unusual for us here! Sadly, and a little ridiculously, there were 4 auto accidents on our street. You'd think people would slow down a little during a snowstorm. I guess we are so used to non-hazardous driving conditions that we can't concieve of it being different.

We are borrowing my dad's trailer and going camping over Easter break at San Mateo beach in April. We realized the we needed something unusual to look forward to, and it all worked out. I definately wouldn't have tent camped in April. We tried that a couple of years ago at San Simeon State Beach. After 3 night of 42 degree weather, and constant wind, I decreed that we must get to a hotel for the last night. Otherwise it wouldn't have counted as a vacation. More like affliction. So, that last night we really enjoyed ourselves cleaning up in a jet bathtub, and being out of the wind. I learned my optimistic lesson on that front. This time we should be fine in a trailer with a heater. I'm looking forward to it.

A Little Chess

2006-02-25T11:47:00.000-06:00

Years ago, William taught me how to play chess. We played a lot, and I learned the basics. I finally stopped playing, though, because I never won. I am not very competative, but when my only experience of chess was losing, it just got a little old. The question was, "Do I feel like losing a game tonight?" rather than, "Do I feel like playing a game tonight?" I realized that I simply had no concept of how to go on the offensive and win. I could only defend until the inevitable end.

Lately, William and the girls have been playing after dinner. He keeps asking me to play too, but until last night I held out. As we played, I experienced anew the fresh experience of Chess with William.

Last night I actually gave him a run for his money. But I was helped immensely by the fact that twice during the game I was clued into his errors by his audible gasp as he realized his mistakes. (Nor did I let him take back the moves...What is chess anyway, but an exploitation of your opponent's errors?) I spent a couple of minutes figuring out what he saw, and for a while I was definately ahead. We played a pretty even game, but he finally did win. We each had a pawn and king on the board. This first photo is what William looked like upon his victory. He actually thought he'd lose, so his joy and delight were even more pronounced. In this next photo, he is showing Madeline (and Abigail, but not fully clothed) exactly what peices were left on the board before his luck turned around. Here are some quotes, "I have never won a game from that far down!" "Ha ha ha ha ha!" "Heh heh heh". I actually wrote them down because it was so over the top. There were others, equally colorful, which I could't capture in time. So, we had some excitement.

It actually ended up being fun, even if I did lose. I might continue for a while, and maybe I'll beat him sometime. I'll let you know.

Aging and Growing Up

2006-02-21T12:04:00.000-06:00

I've been thinking about aging, and the passing of time, and the kids growing up lately. It started off when I was in Barnes and Noble, and in the background they were playing a Cure song off the "Kiss me, Kiss me" album. That was the theme album of my summer before 9th grade, and it was definately edgy then. So of course I had to reflect on the fact that it is basically Muzak now, and how wierd that I have all these memories built with the Cure as the soundtrack. And, again, I am aware that I must be the target audience for that background music. Just like those Honda Odyssey advertisments. If you do the math, I am exactly the target for those too. And, scarily, I'd like a Honda Odyssey. I'm feeling a little too predictable.

We passed a major milestone this week. I have been addicted to Sam having a number of pacifiers for bedtime. Yes, I know, he's way too old for a pacifier. But I've never taken them away because of my own need for him to have one. So, it was time for both of us to go off cold turkey. I decided to do what the Dollars did with Justin. He was allowed to "buy a toy" with his pacifier. I found a Thomas DVD with Percy engine attached; a very desireable aquisition. Sam was all excited about buying a Thomas video with his pacifiers. We gathered up all the ones we could find, put them in a baggie, and took them down to Hollywood Video. Incidentally, they all know me by first name-I'm there so much-Is it a bad thing? So, the girl behind the counter was happy to play along. Sam handed over the baggie solomnly, and it was over.

The first night he was sad, and cried some. He took Percy engine to bed with him, although it was small consolation for the artificial suckle. But he eventually fell to sleep. Last night was better, and I think tonight will be fine. Incidentally, his very chapped lips are also healing up.

So, we have crossed the potty training milestone, and the pacifier milestone. Just in time for his June 4 year old birthday. Heh Heh. I feel a sense of freedom, as my life slowly becomes less complicated.